Tears of Thank You.

And what do you do; a thank from high
You know you have been blessed; numbers telling you why
And then you are told; again and again
Thank you from my soul; thank you back then

I walked passed the note; standing there
It all started back then; and where
I listened to a lady; she told me her past
I started to shake; it did last and last

I wondered; why are they saying this; how can they say?
That they were abused; sitting there calm way
It just lit up inside me; I was not alone
There are others out there; in front of me; a tone

And from that day; when I realised there was more
I strove forward; I did explore
It was hard; an immense task
It was horrible; but it does not last

Seeking for information; I did find
Many others out there; thoughts unwind
And now I know I am surrounded; many more
And I know there are many out there; not to ignore

So from that moment; that thought in my head
I need help; I need care instead
So I pass back; to the lady that cared
Who helped me help many; if I dared


((((hugs))) Thanks to my third therapist

Celebrating 50,000 visitors to Whitedoves Nest

Praying for the end

Hiding; running; scared of sight
Dealing with this night after night
A little girl; so small and true
Is given over to the horror of you

Lost and alone, she enters its lair
A home of peace; frightened to be there
It is a kitchen; in a normal home
And a father dominates from the throne

And in he comes, no one is there
The fright builds up; it is time to scare
To be alone; five seconds with him
You live a lifetime; in this sin

And everything whirls; what will he do
Is he to say anything; do that to?
And you freeze; rabbit in fright
Not again in his spotlight

And when he retreats; and you are safe again
How many hours till it happens; that sin
Will he follow you into this room
Stalking you; bringing you doom

And when you are supposed to be calm
Reading a book; your torn to harm
Is he coming into this place
Filling your head with such disgrace

And finally; where do you go?
Do you tell someone; tell someone you know
And when you do; they dismiss it with ease
Looking at you like you have a disease

And so your thoughts turn to the end
Hoping to get out of there; hoping to descend
Wishing to disappear; wishing it gone
From night to day; feeling torn

The horror pain; easy to forget
It is the remembering; such a threat
Years on; you remember the pain
And over and over you experience it again

Knife in my heart; recovering memories

The images;the pain
Agony and despair
Wishing I was anywhere
Anywhere but there

Stuck in these memories
When will the come
Seeing these new images
Nothing; not fun

It is past; it is gone
I cannot worry now
I am releasing the pain
Releasing and how

Wishing to get the memory
The pain and despair
Living on the road
A road to somewhere.

SCARY THOUGHTS AND IMAGES

12.16 3 May 2007