For nearly one year
I have had this memory
I cannot discern it
I do not know what it is
I cannot figure it out
I cannot tell if it is true
I could be wrong
I know I was in the area
I can see it as I write this
And for nearly a year it has churned
Turned over in my mind
That can't be true, my face turns awful
And when I remembered it
I prayed I could take the pain
I prayed that I would not just end it
Was that me?
Then the logic came in
Could that have happened
No surely not
A father could not do that to a child
I was older
What is this memory
It must not be right
What if it is right
What is there to come?
It makes me sick at night
It turns over and over
I cry myself to sleep
And then try to forget
And then realise
That it could have happened
And all I can do, is hold on to someone close
And tell them not to tell.
