A blog exploring recovering from childhood sexual abuse
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Tuesday, June 21, 2011
WHILE NO ONE WAS WATCHING: Fifteen artists join voices to bring tumultuous, c...
WHILE NO ONE WAS WATCHING: Fifteen artists join voices to bring tumultuous, c...: "For Immediate Release April 13, 2011 While No One Was Watching Survivors of child sexual abuse in art exhibit on this silent epidemic..."
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Not that hard to find
Things are fully strange and weird
And everythings not there quite right
They are all there left of centre
Displayed and quite full of fright
And it just seems like a full on nightmare
Searching through rooms and rooms
Looking for no one that is there
Not finding you through all the doom
And someone is following me around
Its called a thought of screaming denial
All dressed up in pretty flowing ribbons
Calling out through love and running fruit trials
And houses are there out of whack
And animals not joined together quite full steam ahead
And outside thoughts toss over in my mind
And everything is very wrong instead
And everybody sits there and waits
While the denial just sorts through my mind
For the truth is always out there
Its really not that hard to find.
And everythings not there quite right
They are all there left of centre
Displayed and quite full of fright
And it just seems like a full on nightmare
Searching through rooms and rooms
Looking for no one that is there
Not finding you through all the doom
And someone is following me around
Its called a thought of screaming denial
All dressed up in pretty flowing ribbons
Calling out through love and running fruit trials
And houses are there out of whack
And animals not joined together quite full steam ahead
And outside thoughts toss over in my mind
And everything is very wrong instead
And everybody sits there and waits
While the denial just sorts through my mind
For the truth is always out there
Its really not that hard to find.
Monday, June 13, 2011
When the World Would Prefer Silence
Submitted by Casey - a survivor
She speaks when the world
Would prefer silence
Words stumble
Over her tongue, teeth, lips
memories
Tears act as barriers
To both her speech and hearing
The world avoids emotions
Glares given because
she is the breaking
the cyclic silence
Generations old
do not help her pain
Sad eyes connecting to mouths
From which weighty “I’m sorry”s escape
Harming more than helping her
Eternally unable to take away
Or nullify
The violations of his hands
Unwanted, and wandering
the frozen body
Of a woman unsure of why
Her friend is betraying her
As her tears stream
And she whimpers in pain
A hand covers her mouth
From which noise escapes
The kisses neither he nor she
cared about end
As has his imminent touching ensues
He lowers her garments swiftly
And forces his entrance through
Her private gates
Deeply his hands penetrate
Carving swelling paths
To deeper pain
She is the victim of subterfuge
Lies awake
Her body is sleeping in shock
She manages to whisper “stop” into
The hand arresting her mouth
The perpetrator holds down her wrists
And presses himself hard on
Her weak and quiet body
As he speaks the words
“You’re okay”
Like the crimes committed
Were not meant “that way”
Silence overcomes
The pained whisperer
The subterfugist pins her down
And tears fall towards the ground
Silence is overcoming
As the dominant man heaves breaths
On the forced sub-missive’s face
The broken woman feign’s sleep
And the breaker moves away
It is the beginning of a second day
Of which the first never ended
And now pain overrides her
And she cannot speak
Of the atrocities he committed
which harmed her
For hours or more
After the havoc wreaking
Monster disappeared
From her bedroom floor
When the silence is broken
By a stuttering text
To a friend
Tears flowed again
Sent to somewhere safe to be
A place where words could escape
Without fear of increased
Induced pain
The silence is breaking
With each word escaping
Stumbling over her tongue, teeth, lips
And Memories of horrible
Atrocities
She speaks when the world
Would prefer she kept silent
Regretting the whispers
Of “This happened to me”
And wishing her heart could believe
Her mind as it screams
“What happened to me was not my fault”
“What happened to me was not my fault”
“What happened to me was not my fault”
.(Thanks to StaceyAnn Chin for inspiration in the last lines).
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