I can't write this poem

I really can't write this poem
I have tried so many times
The white page here before me
Lay blank here with a poets crime

I try to say it this way
I begin to change the words
I rub them out constantly
My thoughts are becoming disturbed

I am trying to join the wording
I am beginning to get it right
It is making me feel wonderful
It is giving quite a fright

You see I write these poems
Here hidden, very quickly indeed
But there is just one sentence
That has sent me to my knees

I cannot say what is wanted
Even hidden with whats occurred
This poem; will never be understood
It will never be read or heard

So every time I write it
It is not the truth indeed
I cannot just get it out
Even writing at full speed

The poem here before me
That sentence that was taken back
Its making me quite angry
I wonder why it ran off track

So here within this poem
I will whisper it to you
Just so you can ask the meaning
Of whats making me feel so utterly blue

And when you finished reading
Please go back and read its words
For surely you will see
The horror that has occurred

Part 2

Did you go back and read the poem
It was hidden there quite indeed
I knew I would finally get it out
When I wrote it at full speed

The last poems were about tea parties
They were about snowfalls and mirrors too
There were about rooms and waterfalls
And whispers of flowers and words from you

I could not get it right
So I sat here and wrote away
For you see I dont know what to do
I did not know what to say

So here this poem has taken six months
Of toil and utter pain
Of crying and not understanding
Of silence for someone elses gain

I have screwed up all the pages
And thrown to the scrap paper bin
It would just not be right
A blank page, a poets greatest and biggest sin

It time spent in agony
Its a note of silent dread
A deep within dwell
That sticks there within your head

That sudden thought or meaning
That hidden image you want people to see
There written on the paper
Now out, instead of within me

So there after all this pain
That time and search day after day
Thank God I have FINALLY said it
And that is all I have to say