I know you are probably crying
Alone, not knowing what to do
Having no one to turn to
And not understanding what is happening
Confused, lost, unknown and unseen
Curled away and forgotten
The darkness of the room
Alone, looking out the window with no hope in sight
Listening, praying but no God there
To help in the slightest way
A bang on the door
Or a glimmer of hope, to be stolen at any moment
Looking at his sick face daily
Seeing the disgust; being touched
Living with evil
A nightmare on every turn
I know you don't know me
And would not acknowledge me in the crowd
But I am your voice
Where you will be, once he is gone.
Be strong, tonight may be dark and the footsteps loud
But he can never destroy you
For I am here, waiting, your future self
Writing slow tales of the horror you endured.
Feel safe knowing I am here
Keeping you kind
Getting you help
And holding you as you cry
This poem has been a long time coming.
A blog exploring recovering from childhood sexual abuse
Take the journey with me.....
www.whitedovesnest.com
Friday, October 23, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
I will go back
A path with a rock
Eyes stare at night
A fence to the side
Horror, a new memory such delight
How could I have forgotten
This area again
And now I write this poem
To remember back then
Lets discover this memory
For I don't know what it be
I am thinking to stop
Because it is within me
Take a deep breath
I see the eyes
My memory haunts me
Its has its little spies
There is garden
I am a little girl
He is teaching me something
A little girl to unfurl
Covered by the road
Innocence all around
My memory is just lost
It is not going to be found
What is he doing
Is he even there
I know we have visited this space
Nobody was even there
My window in the back,
The hose to the side
Lets turn off the tap
The horror about to ride
Lets step off the ledge
And see what he has done
Because together
This freak has not won
Deep breath once more,
Lets return back then
Close our eyes silently
Lets begin to win again
Block out the noise
And see this place
What has he done
In utter disgrace
Here it is
I am seeing it now
My god that was frightening
That cannot be real, and how.
I must have made that up
That cannot be true
I am sorry to disturb you
I will go back to feeling blue
Memories are sometimes too traumatic to remember. It is easier to forget.
Eyes stare at night
A fence to the side
Horror, a new memory such delight
How could I have forgotten
This area again
And now I write this poem
To remember back then
Lets discover this memory
For I don't know what it be
I am thinking to stop
Because it is within me
Take a deep breath
I see the eyes
My memory haunts me
Its has its little spies
There is garden
I am a little girl
He is teaching me something
A little girl to unfurl
Covered by the road
Innocence all around
My memory is just lost
It is not going to be found
What is he doing
Is he even there
I know we have visited this space
Nobody was even there
My window in the back,
The hose to the side
Lets turn off the tap
The horror about to ride
Lets step off the ledge
And see what he has done
Because together
This freak has not won
Deep breath once more,
Lets return back then
Close our eyes silently
Lets begin to win again
Block out the noise
And see this place
What has he done
In utter disgrace
Here it is
I am seeing it now
My god that was frightening
That cannot be real, and how.
I must have made that up
That cannot be true
I am sorry to disturb you
I will go back to feeling blue
Memories are sometimes too traumatic to remember. It is easier to forget.
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