Saturday, October 10, 2009

I will go back

A path with a rock
Eyes stare at night
A fence to the side
Horror, a new memory such delight

How could I have forgotten
This area again
And now I write this poem
To remember back then

Lets discover this memory
For I don't know what it be
I am thinking to stop
Because it is within me

Take a deep breath
I see the eyes
My memory haunts me
Its has its little spies

There is garden
I am a little girl
He is teaching me something
A little girl to unfurl

Covered by the road
Innocence all around
My memory is just lost
It is not going to be found

What is he doing
Is he even there
I know we have visited this space
Nobody was even there

My window in the back,
The hose to the side
Lets turn off the tap
The horror about to ride

Lets step off the ledge
And see what he has done
Because together
This freak has not won

Deep breath once more,
Lets return back then
Close our eyes silently
Lets begin to win again

Block out the noise
And see this place
What has he done
In utter disgrace

Here it is
I am seeing it now
My god that was frightening
That cannot be real, and how.

I must have made that up
That cannot be true
I am sorry to disturb you
I will go back to feeling blue



Memories are sometimes too traumatic to remember. It is easier to forget.

1 comment:

Nikki (Sarah) said...

"I must have made that up." I am a survivor of child physical and emotional abuse and later confinement and rape. For years, I didn't believe my memories. the visions that played in my head, that forced me to cut into my body, deny myself food and shove needles in my arm. Powerful what you wrote. We need our voices. Sarah