Her

This is how healing Feels, Clean, Safe, Quietly Hidden, and Beautiful

by Gabriel Orion Marie

http://www.gabrielorionmarie.com

Unbind Him

This painting reflects the profound sadness and confusion I had in the area of gender identity after years of sexual torture and brainwashing

by Gabriel Orion Marie

http://gabrielorionmarie.com

$5.00 Death

My father sold me to other men for oral sex for $5.00. I died inside every time. It happened many times when I was 4-6 years old. I was also used for making child pornography.

by Gabriel Orion Marie
http://gabrielorionmarie.com

Sensation Overload

Sensation Overload

This is how I felt when my body and senses were overloaded with Pain and Torture

By Gabriel Orion Marie

http://gabrielorionmarie.com/

Stages of Burden

Stages of the Burden: This painting shows how the Burden/Weight of Abuse that began early in my childhood got heavier and heavier in my life until it Crushed me and I collapsed with the pain

By Gabriel Orion Marie
http://gabrielorionmarie.com

Wishful Crowd Funding Opportunity

Check out this link for trailers and opportunities to help Help support funding of short film on effect of rape. Link to site http://www.pozible.com/project/181738

Conference

A conference to help survivors of severe child abuse (ritual abuse) and torture will be held on August 15 - 17, 2014, between 8 - 5 PM Saturday and Sunday at the DoubleTree Hotel near Bradley International Airport, 16 Ella Grasso Turnpike, Windsor Locks, CT 06096 (between Hartford, CT and Springfield, MA). This conference will help educate survivors of this abuse and their helpers. S.M.A.R.T., P. O Box 1295, Easthampton, MA 01027-1295 E-mail: smartnews@aol.com, conference information is at: http://ritualabuse.us/smart-conference/

Alice

She ran and she ran
From the forest
Being chased and harrassed
Screamed at, the fox getting closer
The pounding of her heart
Not knowing what was coming
The darkness unable to control
The panting of its breath
The screaming in her mind
The high pitched squeal of the wind
The darkness, the darkness
Fear, Fear, Fear
Screaming beyond imagining

-- He declared to me -- fullstop

Alice in Wonderland
Was always something I enjoyed
As I sit there and make pictures
Remembering the fear
But slowly painting butterflies
Looking at a spider and seeing
The wind blow the web

Wondering, why I want to return to the
Forest.....

Her Fathers Legacy

the girl huddled next to her school desk, covering her work quickly
uses the eraser three times, not getting it down, not understanding

--he will be there tonight -- I know you don't want to hear

write a story about menace she thought -- her task not healthy
it was hard to describe her life, her best friend not knowing

-- the fear will make you sick -- Quick turn away, leave the little girl alone

her mum not understanding, the sister she must protect, silent
hiding, waiting, running away, she huddled closer to her pen

-- trapped with him, his face will distort your memories -- Am I making you uncomfortable?

erasing more and more lines, it was the fear that got to her
but she must be strong, keep him away, while writing slowly about nothing

-- there is no escape, even if you try -- You cannot hear this, you say

and with the pen, she stopped, emotionless -- her pen down, shoulders hunched
she had nothing to write about, but rainbows and dancing in the sun

-- no one will believe you, to run you will just be returned - Well just stop reading

the menace had been that good, that precise
that even a little girl felt trapped -- when writing alone

he scared her to a point where it was easier to forget
and erase the page

the menace that is at every turn,

and leaves her chasing butterflies, in the fields

A Circle before Jail

Writing about the fairy circle is hard, she thought
It was an old tradition, passed down and down -- don't you have one?

-- a water tradition?

She would stand in the middle of her room
All painted in yellow, wearing a pretty dress, pigtales

-- perhaps a special saying?

Taking the dust from the bottle -- purple to be precise
May, I excuse you sir -- it had to be purple

-- special teddy bear -- am I reminding you?

She disappeared into her world of safety, her world of delight
Doing a fairy dust circle, sprinkling her childhood memory

-- Is was but years later

She remembered why, why the fairy dust circle was there
It was for the monsters -- for that ugly smiling one

-- Hidden in the cupboard, dark

Her fathers smile would bring her nightmares
Screams, of weird fright, illusions of the night

-- Nightmare under the covers, dare to be spoken

The circling fan, that made noises, praying
The creaks, squeals and whistles -- as she listened to his footsteps

-- Noises that go bump in the night, it was real

She would sit in her circle, protected
A childs' remedy -- a childs' delight, safe in her minds eye

-- Today in her office

Sits a circle painting, slowly she smiles
And she stares at it, softly -- as they walk into the room

It's Only Fruit

It's Only Fruit - Credits for stock at http://wdnest.deviantart.com/art/It-s-Only-Fruit-352679934

They Killed Barbie

She sits there
And plays with
Her little barbie doll
Undresses it
And wraps it with
Christmas paper
She looks out the window


She dances her Barbie
Doll in a ballerina style
Enjoying its' twisting
And turning
Its' head backwards


She enjoys her music
As Barbie dances
Slowly to the latest
Song from the
Radio

He sits there and
Talks to the doctors
Crying
Offering help but
None to give

The attack left her
Scarred, hurt and
Alone
The men, were never caught

Statute of limitations passed


And now years later
As he remembers her smile
Her laughter
While he sits at the
Traffic light
With a Barbie
Stuck on the bonnet

Of his car.

Caught

Who I am -- is not for your amusement

I am not your amusement child, for when you are stressed or weary of the world
I do not look sexy or cute, do not entice anything out of me, with your sexual connotations


I am but a child, sitting there watching tv
Learning about the world, all of such eight, staring out the window


Not yet grown, not understanding that there is evil out there
And evil there laying on the couch -- watching me -- waiting, planning


For when the house is empty, ready to pray on me
Decisive, practiced, many a girl before me, and many after me


So I wonder, what went through in your mind, when you decided to violate my body
When you decided, what my life should be.


     Was it that you were stressed, like you told me so many years later, when I grew up
     Or was it just that you were a man -- weak, useless and cruel

Song