Sensation Overload

Sensation Overload

This is how I felt when my body and senses were overloaded with Pain and Torture

By Gabriel Orion Marie

http://gabrielorionmarie.com/

Alice

She ran and she ran
From the forest
Being chased and harrassed
Screamed at, the fox getting closer
The pounding of her heart
Not knowing what was coming
The darkness unable to control
The panting of its breath
The screaming in her mind
The high pitched squeal of the wind
The darkness, the darkness
Fear, Fear, Fear
Screaming beyond imagining

-- He declared to me -- fullstop

Alice in Wonderland
Was always something I enjoyed
As I sit there and make pictures
Remembering the fear
But slowly painting butterflies
Looking at a spider and seeing
The wind blow the web

Wondering, why I want to return to the
Forest.....

They Killed Barbie

She sits there
And plays with
Her little barbie doll
Undresses it
And wraps it with
Christmas paper
She looks out the window


She dances her Barbie
Doll in a ballerina style
Enjoying its' twisting
And turning
Its' head backwards


She enjoys her music
As Barbie dances
Slowly to the latest
Song from the
Radio

He sits there and
Talks to the doctors
Crying
Offering help but
None to give

The attack left her
Scarred, hurt and
Alone
The men, were never caught

Statute of limitations passed


And now years later
As he remembers her smile
Her laughter
While he sits at the
Traffic light
With a Barbie
Stuck on the bonnet

Of his car.

Who I am -- is not for your amusement

I am not your amusement child, for when you are stressed or weary of the world
I do not look sexy or cute, do not entice anything out of me, with your sexual connotations


I am but a child, sitting there watching tv
Learning about the world, all of such eight, staring out the window


Not yet grown, not understanding that there is evil out there
And evil there laying on the couch -- watching me -- waiting, planning


For when the house is empty, ready to pray on me
Decisive, practiced, many a girl before me, and many after me


So I wonder, what went through in your mind, when you decided to violate my body
When you decided, what my life should be.


     Was it that you were stressed, like you told me so many years later, when I grew up
     Or was it just that you were a man -- weak, useless and cruel

In Inverted Commas

He told me to leave it
And I took it out on him
"What nonsense was this"
I thought quietly
I told others
"That guy told me to leave it"
And it did not make sense
So I left
And then understood
Why
And now I thank him
For telling me to leave

Scream

When I see

An orange

I wish I

could paint

Rainbows

But all I can

Do is this.

I wish when I 

Talked

All you could

Do is listen

And be marvelled

By the rainbow

Draft Two

When I see
A grape
In the salad
I wish it were wine
But all I can do
Is eat

I wish you
Could see the dinner
Bypass the grape
And marvel
At the banquet


 

It's All Roses

Thanks for those who provided Stock for "It's All Roses"

FoxStox [link]
Fallin Stock [link]
Saikochan Stock [link]
Kuschelirmel-stock [link]
domitar [link]
Enchantedgal Stock [link]
Two Ladies Stocks [link]
KopaBill-Stock [link]
ItHasTeeth [link]

Just for a Moment

The sea salt raises on the beach
In bubbles
A surprise on the horizon
To the castaway, who surviving
On nothing, sees
An image of the boat
Signalling like crazy
As the boat comes to shore
Their footsteps linger in the
Soft wet sand
We are here to help you
And as you reach out
After years of pain
As a castaway
You realise
That your hand goes through
The mirage
And crying you weep

A transit

Such

He was just a bad writer, not knowing what to do

We had a chat, a talk about writing too

And thats where I left him, I could not beware

For it reminded me of the past, that awful stuck lair


And I waited for a while, uncomfortably long

I thought he challenged me with another, feeling so strong

I got a bad impression, was he just like those guys

Would this happen again, I said, ever so wise


And I was told people would help, but I gave up there

For if you grew up with it, they don't really care

Would you wait and wonder, just what will happen next

Will they force you again, force you to have sex


The debate such continues, alone in your head

That old mode of thinking, sometimes you would rather be dead

For its what my dad did, many years ago

Reliving itself in this chatting, ever so slow


I get trapped, I run, I get trapped again, cannot escape

I remember back when I scream, I get upset, I repeat the words; that hate

A little girl crying out just waiting to be heard

Unsure what to do, feeling unheard


For the past replays itself, in your head

Just as you learnt to tie your shoelaces

Or eat crust on your bread

You learn how to relate, with your mum and dad

And there it repeats again and again making you sad


Not sure what to do, not sure what is said

I suppose you just have to trust that thought in your head

And here I am wishing again to forget the past

So AGAIN, I wont have to face this, as it sits and lasts


I can't give you the answers, I have not figured it yet

For I was treated with misery with utter regret

But once I break free, I will understand it then

I know I will get over it, with the help of such friends.

Concrete

Blue clouds

Writing in the sky

A small room

You walk in

Happy

The door is closed

You really don’t know what

Is really the fuss

You see his face

Its bad news

He asks you to sit

Your mind screams

He has something in his hands

This can’t be good

What you have gone through

Is telling you how bad it is

And you cry

You get up

And run

And run

And run

How can your own

Body betray you

Why does it have to happen

To me

And I collapse to the

Concrete

And Cry

Knowing

There is no escape

No escape

Just no escape

And you pick yourself

Up and continue

With the screaming in your head

The constant screaming

It becomes silence it is so loud

You pause

You cry more

You pause

And the screaming comes back

They give you a million things

To do

But the screaming is there….

For

You know

There is no cure

Lost Red Clouds

A little boy stands solidly against the white wall

Telling you, what is wrong

Making mistakes, you remind him

Of what is correct

His leg moves about

He forgets things

Does he know what is coming

Does he know the pain you just went through

Does he understand the anguish

In getting to where he was?

He did not know

Is he blaming me?

A little girl sits on the bed

Going through the same stuff as always

And after all the reading

And all the people

He sits there and dumbfounded

Does not know

He had just done something

Standing there

Watching the tears

For there

Is no answers, no understanding

Just lost red clouds in the sky

Love/Hate

Never dies

They sit on the pond
Two ducks
Across the lilypad
Backs turned
Unspoken

Invisible net
Not speaking
Silence dwells beneath
The two birds
Stern, the lady
Crosses her wings
Defiant

Silent; the male duck
Is apart, wondering
What did I do?
And there is rainfall
And snow
The pond is frozen

Still they stand
Separate
Different ends of the pond
The distant fights gone
"Stay at your end"
The long ago anger
Disappated
For what is left to say

A hunter
Sees the two ducks
And knows
That he has but one shot
With the two ducks
On the pond
The season is here

Which one does he choose?
He wonders as he sets up the shot
One in daylight
One by a tree
Does it matter which one?

The hunter does not why
He sees the female through the
Guns sights
Slowly; slowly raises and aims
Laying back
He waits

The male duck
Here's but a noise from the
Waters edge
Unknown
He has not seen the hunter
The female
Not knowing
Not seeing for her back is turned
Hears the rustling softly by

Anger, she says
She turns around to confront the duck
Aiming at him
Anger amasses from her
The male duck is moving she thinks!

And across the pond
She flies
As he flies towards her
His journey different
And just when she realises
Why
She hears it
A shot
In the distance

And the piercing cry
Of the bullet
As it strikes through her heart
And pierces his, trying to save her.


Love never dies.