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Awareness

 

Thanks to linawifeofL for this graphic

My Seven Year Diary

A poem cataloguing the journey that is Whitedoves Nest.

She stands in purple
Risk it all
Try your local library
For these books
Walked up to the
My childhood memories
Therapy
The right touch
"Free Shipping"
While no one was watching
There is a whisper in heaven
She was busy looking
At the floor and the money
Journals; blue clouds
I watch and talk to him
My Children
And as I whisper
About this site
A few things
We thank you for the many hours
Of support and talk
A small room
You walk in -- Inspired

How to change

The lady in purple
Walked up to the
Telephone booth
And stepped in
There was a line
Outside
Waiting, getting impatient
In the hot weather
She closed the door
Taking refuge inside
Watching the
Dried chewing gum
Cake up the slot
Where her money
Was to go
She noticed a penny
On the floor
She turned to leave
But stopped
As the telephone rang

She heard it
Calling her in the background
She was busy looking
At the floor and the money
People outside waiting

She leaned over
And chose the change

Leaving the phone call
To the next in line.

Never a Smile

There in the distance
I see a tree
Here close up you
Remember the swing
I cry for I will never have
A father to be there
To see the delight
In my smile.

"Free shipping"

"Free shipping"
Said the package
I opened it up
And saw it
And started to cry
It was my
Heart in pieces
Sewn together
With package string

Safe Willow

 

Stock Thanks to -

 

ichigopaul23 [link]

tamaraR-stock [link]

Kechake Stock [link]

 

Special thanks to Kechake Stock for use of model in this picture and appreciation for allowing display rights on this blog for model.

The Fish

The love heart
Told over and over
That it was a fish
So much so -- it blew bubbles

In Inverted Commas

He told me to leave it
And I took it out on him
"What nonsense was this"
I thought quietly
I told others
"That guy told me to leave it"
And it did not make sense
So I left
And then understood
Why
And now I thank him
For telling me to leave

The Cross

I saw a note today
In the middle
Of the road
It was not a simple note
It was a cross
Like one you put
In your Aunty's birthday card
A faux I love you
But this was no
I love you
This was a cross to
Remind me
Of the terror
Of the forgotten things
And how love
Can go horribly wrong
This was where
I was abused
And they marked it
With a cross.

Your love song

A little girl lays alone
Near the sidewalk
Dirt on her face
She smiles at the passerby's
There is no tears
There is no anger
Just a smile
She turns on the radio beside her
Her only possession
And realises
It is playing her song
And she turns it up
And revels in -- her love.

Prezi - But I am Your Voice by Whitedove

But I am Your Voice on Prezi

Blood Rain

Blood Rain Stock provided by
Cynaide Rain Stock [link]
Rock Stock [link]

My childhood memories

My childhood memories

Silent bird calls
Creaking houses
Noises from corners
She sits
Writing
On her notepad
Whirring of the fridge
Noises, coughs, beeps
From out the back
    She pauses to hear
    A door closing
    Footsteps
    Down the hall
    Walking forward
    Pausing
    Not scary
    Hiding looking
    For hiding spots
The fridge makes a noise
The birds stop
Birds flying outside
Sunlight drifts in
A deep breath
Difficult day
Eyes glinting
In the morning
    Hidden she is
    From his glare
    He cannot see her
    Under the bed
    She sits there listening
    Waiting
    Waiting for the footsteps
    To wander on down the hall
    Waiting
    Scared
    Nothing
    Surreal
Shadecloth
Shadows
Fireplace
Creaking of the walls
Silence
Humming of the fridge
Tv off
Light across the wire
    It continues past the door
    Into the kitchen
    Where there is no noise
    I wait
    Wait scared surreal
    Springs under the mattress
    Gazing outside
    Seeing no escape
    Hoping for escape
    Nothing there
    No one there
    But him
Dogs barking
In the distance
As I remember
Sitting here
My childhood memories

John Cage 4'33

Thinking outside the box.

Cannot remember

You sat there
Seeing it happen
Before your eyes
In your mind

Amazement at the
Loss of memory
Where I was
Upset at the place

You saw it in your mind
A locked closet
You turn to
Face the mystery

And by the orchard
You explain
Why you
Cannot remember

Four Eyes

Thanks to
Silaynne Stock [link]
Malleni Stock [link]
Rock Stock [link]

Anything Could Happen

Remain Calm

Remain Calm

RockStock [link]
Gorgigami [link]
Averstra Stock [link]
ArwenArts [link]

The bravest girl I know

For anonymous

You sat there listening
To a fifteen year old
Tell you tragic news
Of her father in jail


Because she put him there
And her family blamed her
And ostracised her
And her mother had taken to drugs


"She could no longer take it"
His constant raping of her
"She could no longer take it"
And now, she lived alone in hate

Start

A beautiful start

To building a sandcastle

Is a smile on

A little girls face

A Vase : For when they tell you

A vase : For when they tell you


A vase sits on the
     Bench

It has pretty flowers
     Stencilled on it

Lovely   motifs and
     Wonderful look

Slim,     and slender
      It stands there

     And    then
Someone walks pass

And    screams
                     "You're Broken"

And     the
     Next

And the           next

And the vase sits
There
Smiling
Holding water
For it is whole.           

The End of a Smile

"Her home is the well
She is lost in the city
Of rain and water
I have dirt across my face
Staring into the night sky
And she blows
Dandeloin seeds
To the wind
As you smile"

The Girls Monster

A little girl
Walks up
And asks you -- yes you

Pulling on
Your shirt
There is a monster
Back there
She is frightened

She turns to you - yes you
And says
Can you help me

Face the monster
They don't believe me
That it exists
And I need
To see

And you turn - yes you
You turn and say.......

Music

Twenty

It's Two Twenty AM

Sound asleep in

The house -- her house

No one awake

The odd motorbike

On the far off highway

The typing on the computer

As she writes a poem

To all those sleepless nights

And dreary mornings

Where she could not

Endure the day

Two Twenty AM -- is home.

The Dream

She wakes up
And sees the
Dream she just had
Famous people
Helicopters
Space rockets

She continues her
Daily life
Sipping her cup of tea
Sending emails

She remembers
Helicopters and
Circles
Running for the
Road crossing a
Street of Life

She feeds the dogs
Enjoys the sunshine
Reads a paper or two

Life chasing after her
Queen of the world
Streets lined with
People, waving
Bridges of flight
Richard Branson Even!

She makes dinner
Of steak and potatoes
Has a drink of coffee
Settles down for the
Night

Remembering
Her life as a dream

Lost Aces

 

Stock Thanks to

Dark Yarrow [link]
MMP-Stock [link]
CelticStrm Stock [link]

Hands

 

Thanks to Bringmethesilence for this art

Incident

Eating his sandwich
In the squadroom
Afterwards
Must have been
Been beef or ham
McDonalds
It must have been

Worthwhile

The little girl
Cried at the window
Springs wide
Being fearful
Every night
Of her Father
Attacking her
Whenever the opportunity
Came about
Crying because
There was
Nothing she
Could do

Scream

When I see

An orange

I wish I

could paint

Rainbows

But all I can

Do is this.

I wish when I 

Talked

All you could

Do is listen

And be marvelled

By the rainbow

Draft Two

When I see
A grape
In the salad
I wish it were wine
But all I can do
Is eat

I wish you
Could see the dinner
Bypass the grape
And marvel
At the banquet


 

Deck of Hearts

MMp-stock [link] and [link]

CelticStrm-stock [link]

Luciaraio [link]

Setsuna222 [link]

PPBB [link]

Kaitrosebd-Stock [link]

I can't write

Why the heck
Can I not write this
It's so stupid
To not be able
To say anything
To completely keep
Hitting backspace
And to be annoyed
At this
Not being able to write
Or being able to say
Much

Why must I check my work
Re read, re-edit
Go back
Then not flow
Like I used to

Why Why Why

And then you realise...................

She Draws A Smile

She held it up to her Spirit
A tear flows down her cheek
A marker in her hand
Her eyes bright, and clouded

Black ink
Across her face
Her hair pink
All out of place

Her eyebrows furrowed
A lisp of hair
She takes her marker
Draws with care

Her hand slender
Her grasp soft
Now she holds
Destiny in her hand.



Joint poem - Whitedove and Cococ.

Caring

The little girl
Takes a seat
Next to the man
And cries

Here is the balloon
She says
And cries

The man looks at the balloon
It is white, crumpled, lack of string
But what he sees
Is not this

But the smile on
The little girls face

Because he cared.

Monday

In the middle
Of the branches
Deep within the
Tree
A perfect triangle
Is formed
Trust me
It won't fall
As we climb higher
In the tree
Reaching out from
The main trunk
I stretch
To find branches
Slowly
I catch in my hand

I turn to look back
At you
And you disappear

To the sounds
Of an axe falling

Meeting You

She glides through
The party
Smiling with
Her bag
Laughing and travelling
Speaking with ease
She turns around
And you see
Someone who is me

Ace of Dots

Stock Thanks to http://ppbb.deviantart.com

http://setsuna22.deviantart.com

http://mmp-stock.deviantart.com

http://luciaraio.deviantart.com

Hearts representing internal love.

Girl on Fire

The Orchard

I wandered through

The attic

Dusting off

The trunk

Of black regret

I gingerly

Unlock it

Inside

I pick it up

My memory

Of what 

Was done

Blowing off the

Cobwebs

I start to cry

Blurry vision

The emotions rising

I open it up

And see it there

Press play

And watch

What was done

Where 

How

The scare

The nightmare

I continue on

My breath getting shallow

The memories 

Of times since then

The absolute horror

Of what happened

Me screaming

"Why would I do that"

Seeing me 

visit again

and again

To that point

Not knowing

Looking there

Screaming again

Shaking my head

How could he do this

Coming home and 

Forgetting the milk

My mind in oblivion

All over

A simple

Orchard

I sit there

And close the lid

To the trunk

As the little girl

I once used to be

Comforts Me 

Saying I love you.

Video

To Make a Dadaist Poem from Yeju Choi on Vimeo.

Cards You Are Dealt

Cards You are Dealt by Whitedove
Stock Thanks to
http://setsuna22.deviantart.com/
http://celticstrm-stock.deviantart.com/
http://luciaraio.deviantart.com/
http://mmp-stock.deviantart.com/



As this

I just
Sat there
And stared
At him for
Two weeks
Before I thought



Oh No



What had
Happened in
The space
Of that time
Was as surreal

As this.

Whirlwind

She steps tenderly
Towards the twig
And floats down
The river; holding on

The current moves in
A whirlwind
She screams; circular
"Help"

No one comes
She panics
Cries
And with abandon

Throws herself
Towards the water
Hoping
Praying

And just as
She realises what
Has happened
She calls out


And you just say - Stand up

Playing with Love

 

Stock Credit - http://mmp-stock.deviantart.com/

 

Without nightmares

Supermarket

He wanders through the market
Shirt untucked
Red basket, choosing
Fruit and vegetables
Does he know I watch
Him and slowly write
A poem in my mind
Catching this precise
Moment
Where he looks at me
And then turns away
The memory forgotten
In the depths of his life

Scars

Book

If a book
Took you
Ten years to
Write
How would
You end it

It's Just a Splinter

To Write in the Sun

To Write in the Sun

The mouse runs
Darts this and that
To the darkness
Behind the tv

It smells the bait
The cheese there
It darts back
Eyeing it far away

                It inches tiptoeing
                Touch the wood
               With the edge
               Of its whiskers
 
               SNAP

               The metal bars
               Come down
               The other mice scream
               Left alone

Others walk
See the mouse twitch
Ignore the calls
Cries

The pain it endures
No one
Misery from God
Taking its last breath

          The bar rusted
          Fails in spring
          The mouse turns
          And knaws at the wood

                                 Other mice visit
                                 The trap sprung
                                 The animal wanders off
                                 To write in the sun

I told

The sun flashed
Across the fern
It is the same sun
I saw with it there

     Awake

Mixtures fly everywhere
A wisp of brightness
Fear, dwelling
A butterfly captured

     Fear

Listening to others
It is lost
The walking stick falls
I am but elsewhere

    Gone

Disappointed in the salt
There is no strength
To just say your mind
And I left in silence

Horror -- Me

It was two months
That I felt of it
Just two months
And I had to leave
For a break, peace -- freedom

Why did I not see it before
In the length of my life
Should I have doubted
The loss, horrid -- dreaming

The trap, the horror, torture
That she endured
So long ago now but a mystery
How did she, survive -- live

And now escaped from the misery
A skeleton, raked leaves, dead trees
I turn and remember
What did he do, horror -- me

Emily's Room

Let me walk in
And sit for a while
I know it will bother you
Can I offer a smile
Can I tell you here
Within these walls
Can I take away your nervousness
Can I talk away your falls
And there in your bun
And there in your dress
Can I tell you in the future
You will become impressed
Can I sit by your feet and
Widdle away the hours
Can I sit here and listen
As you write with your powers
And finally will you let me
Just understand your pain
Stay for a while
With nothing to gain
And then when I close the door
And leave your little room
Can you tell me your secret
Of encountering this doom
For you've impressed
This lady of two
With just your wisdom
And the soul within you.

In desperation there is love

In desperation there is love

Stock thanks to
Portraitz [link]
Book-of-Light Stock [link]
Adaae-Stock [link]
Chamber Stock [link]
Glamorous Acid Stock [link]
JoannaStar stock [link]
Markopolio Stock [link]

Would I lose this poem?

The light is bright above me
And the mirror cast in black
Unsure of where I am
Unsure of what I lack

I have been transported
Back to that day of change
The instant before my life
Became so rearranged

And if I just change this scene
Just this moment before
All my what if's are gone
Never to be known any more

Would I walk through that door
And sit down as I eat
Would I continue along
This sure and steady beat

Or would I let it take me
And wake up those again
Would I dismiss the people
That I made here now as friends?

Would I forsake this poem
For that was learnt to
Would I forget how to cope
And learn to say no to you?

For this is what I have learnt
From walking through that door
In overcoming that nightmare
That will live for me anymore

Quiet of the Room

From the quiet of the room
She writes
A little girl in pigtales
With all her might
She is scribbling in her diary
All her dreams
She is missing out all her screams
She is protecting those with
No words
And hiding under the covers
Quite disturbed
And quietly with her pen
She writes
Its all there, as she fights
Some extra horror that she
Knows
Her tears have come to blows
She has written for hours
And no one knows
Just horror stories
That no one sees
Her tear drops as you please
But when she goes to
Hand it on
All she says is
Who cares anyway
No one will respond

Little Girl Remembers

The little girl lays there
Not saying a word
There is a quiet hush
She is becoming disturbed
Her mouth wants to scream
And her feet want to run
But she just stays there
Hating this fun
There is a man to the right
Standing up tall
Her mind there sitting
It is about to fall
And there in front of her
She sees a circle or two
And her mind just blank
And she has a deep breath anew
She is but young
Living in this monsters world
There to the right
The memory is becoming unfurled
And how does she cope
With this monsters awful stare
She just says "Forget it"
And the memory returns to its lair

Seasons Change

Through the winter rain
The lone leaf stood strongly still
Until the spring time

When the flowers rose
The willows made friends with birds
And the sky lit up

To tell you in soft
Reaches that life is but change
Winds it's memory

Willow Tree

There beside the Willow Tree
Where I am sitting with you beside me
I have an umbrella, you sit there straight
Legs out stretched, met by fate

And there it took my breath away
I still feel its heat, still feel it's sway
My mind awash, forgetting it so
That image there that no one knows

And still you sit, not understanding why
It makes me shake; yet to cry
I wish to tell you, but it will make it true
To just whisper the words, there to you

So at the moment I will remain so
Quietly drifting to and fro
In this willow tree, safe and strong
Knowing this is where I belong.

It's All Roses

Thanks for those who provided Stock for "It's All Roses"

FoxStox [link]
Fallin Stock [link]
Saikochan Stock [link]
Kuschelirmel-stock [link]
domitar [link]
Enchantedgal Stock [link]
Two Ladies Stocks [link]
KopaBill-Stock [link]
ItHasTeeth [link]

Just for a Moment

The sea salt raises on the beach
In bubbles
A surprise on the horizon
To the castaway, who surviving
On nothing, sees
An image of the boat
Signalling like crazy
As the boat comes to shore
Their footsteps linger in the
Soft wet sand
We are here to help you
And as you reach out
After years of pain
As a castaway
You realise
That your hand goes through
The mirage
And crying you weep

He did not make it

A slight rain
Came over the bus stop
As the little boy
With the balloon
Stands with you
He feels disjointed
You speak to him
Knowing his pain
The bus stop is clear
The road busy
And you stand for
Just a moment
Telling him
About your days
And you turn away
Realising the bus
Has arrived
And you talk
Slowly into your iphone
Not realising
The boy did not get on
And all you hear from
The distance
Is, "I'm sorry"
And the balloon flying upwards



This poem is dedicated to a 19 year old survivor, whom chose a different path to me in life.

May he rest in peace.

Dany 1993 to August 2012

Happy Birthday to Whitedovesnest.com

Happy Birthday to Whitedovesnest.com.

We put up this website 7 years ago this month. The response to this website was beyond my expectations. I have received many many contributions, emails, thoughts, best wishes and more importantly, this site, that you have visited today, has helped me personally in ways I could never imagine possible when created 7 years ago.

I wish to thank all of those who have been brave enough to submit articles, poetry, art work, Youtubes, songs, resources and writings. I also wish to thank those who have taken the time and courage to contribute their personal abuse and rape stories amongst my own.

May you find some peace and inspiration in these writings here.

Happy Birthday Whitedovesnest!!!!

www.whitedovesnest.com

The Note

It caught your eye
That little girl
Holding the note
That felt so unreal

It came across you
As you wandered past
Scurrying quickly
Way too fast

She stands in purple
Her hair tied in bows
A tear there welling
While no one knows

And she just sits there
Listening to what you say
Remembering back
Remembering yesterday

She could say something
Risk it all
Prepare herself for the
Sudden fall

Toss all those images
From her soul beware
And just trust
That others will care

But as you lean closer
To what she says
What has been giving her
Sleepless days

What horror she holds
She cannot say
The images live within her
Night and day

She sits there
Scribbles something down
Her tears there welling
Her forehead in a frown

And there she holds it
She makes it mine
She holds up a note
Simply reading "I'm fine"

Some Nights

You're Beautiful

That smile
That makes your eyes light up
How you skip down the road
Doing twirlies in the night

Simple pleasures
Dancing to songs
And screaming out loud
With a laugh that makes
People turn their heads

Blowing petals to the wind
Clapping out loud
Screaming at the top of your lungs
Looking in the mirror
Yet again
Pretending you're a princess

Wondering at fireworks
Dancing in the street
Playing skipping ropes
Bouncing with your legs
In anticipation of this day

I'm so lucky
You're beautiful.


Poem to the song What makes You Beautiful by One Direction.

Now

Venom

She sits there
Surrounded by her spiders
Her adoring spiders
Lovely, she works amongst them
In the zoo
Petting them, being with them
Understanding them
Her thin rimmed glasses
Hiding her smiling eyes
As she sits there
And feeds her next spider
Flies, slowly one by one
With tweezers
She lovingly milks their venom
Slowly day by day
So that others will
Get the livesaving drops
And as she reaches down
She feels her leg
It is now plastic
Where they had to
Cut it off
To save her life
Because her pet spider
Nearly killed her
And she looks at you
With lovely caring eyes
Saying
Now I surround myself with spiders
So you don't have to endure

You're the Voice

Lucky enough to see this many times live.

Soul to the Moonlight

   

Can you see it Dwelling within my soul That silent memory Hurting me internally And as I see it There trembling in its mystery I walk slowly And touch it, it burns me With a deep intensity that I run That I cry, and do not return And chose to forget its mystery And I sit down, with the flowerpots behind me And stir my teacup in the shadowed sunlight Many years later And notice my hand shaking It is the memory Resurfacing, just as I stir my tea And I forget And then as I plant the flower The following spring In the pots, the hot sun Causing beads of sweat on my forehead I notice my breath is gone Not because of the weather But the silent memory And as I watch the tv, I realise The memory does not go The memory will return And the only way to resolve it Is to show its Soul to the moonlight. Don't run from it, turn and face it.

Love Swirled

Move on to

Theres a slight sound playing

That is right we were

And I was happy

Elated, full on with

Something

Like a build up

To something else

But then

I realised

That really

There was no one

In this world

That could help

Except me

There were comments

Many

When I started thinking

About it

Then I realised

How important I was

A tingle

Just how important

And it was

So simple in

The end

When before

I did not have this

So I had to let you go

So I could go forward

Into what I was thinking about

And that makes me

Cry.

Because what I had to move onto

Was me.

In my mind

Clear Wide

Red faces that are sliding

Eyes that behold

Ring of dolly behind the door

Straight lines that are told

Blood drops on the floor

With red and blue behind

A white face appears again

Blue lines hit the side

My hands there now touch you

As I see a part of me

A title there does show

What is sitting in front of me

And every day I see this,

Yet it all escapes my thoughts

It is just a simple click of my fingers

That shows me what I ought

So as I take a slow breath

And recount what has given me pause

Im glad Im sitting on this side

And not taken all the applause

So next time you think

That heaven has rocked the earth

Take a slight step back

And really, give it a clear wide berth

Courage

Spearmint Lolly Man

The girl, sitting there near the shop

Spies at the bottom of the lolly packet

A small spearmint lolly

WOW - I have forgotten the spearmint ones

And she takes it and eats it quickly

With a smile on her face

The next girls spies the lolly in the packets

And shies away

Her heart racing

She starts to cry

She turns and runs away

Hiding, remembering

Slowly dying inside

For the lolly

Reminded her

Of Him

You love you

     

Its the monsters breath Getting slight He is trying to get at you With all his might He is trying to scare you now As he did before And here you are trying to calm and more You thought this would be easy Not as hard as this You have been given ideas To return to bliss You dont want to lay vunerable To the monsters teeth And really you know Whats lying beneath But what if he's not, that monster in disguse What if he is just a nice kind man Who wants to help as he tries It is your filter, the monsters put on Effecting you now every year on The panic you feel, is the filters glare Reminding you of the times back there All I know now, is you can escape You can keep yourself safe Not put up with his hate You have the power, deep within That little girl loves you Your protecting her from sin So here is a flower She gives you for now She lets you cry, she lets you howl She lets you shake, she lets you ball She lets you walk, she lets you crawl You have held her hand, through the worse terror yet Something 99 percent of people would rather forget You can protect her, you can get through The courage is right there Because You love You.

On the edge

In time this will be

Wind on my heart

Wind on my Heart



Wind on My Heart

Two little girls
Step one by one along the path
Followed closely behind
By their mum.
The blonde girls turn to their mum
And see in the sky a quiet wind
Pointing, they notice
Layers of lovehearts
Multicoloured
Drifting in the breeze
Held by string
And the mum does not see it
She is watching the monsters behind
Keeping their nasty
Fire, their brimstone at bay
The footpath full of grass
"The hearts are so pretty" says the little girls
Laughing and giggling
The monster from the back
Breathing words of fire
Attacking, wanting the little girls
The mother puts her arms out
Lets balance girls
On the footpath
And the little girls enjoy the sunshine
Playing games in the spectacle
Looking forward, to the brightly coloured
Fireworks
And all they feel from the
Monster
Is the Wind on My Heart



Protect your children. Let them paint and draw love hearts, rather than be abused by who abused you. Stand in between the abuser and never let them past.

Faith of the Heart

It's been a long road
Getting from there to here
It's been a long time
But my time is finally near

And I can feel the change in the wind right now
Nothing's in my way
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna hold me down

'Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith, I’ve got faith, faith of the heart

It's been a long night
Trying to find my way
Been through the darkness
Now I've finally have my day

And I will see my dream come alive at last
I will touch the sky
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna change my mind

'Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith, faith of the heart

I've known the wind so cold, and seen the darkest days.
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change.
I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain.
But I'll be fine.

Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith

I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I've got faith, I've got faith, faith of the heart.

It's been a long road. 

Reveal

She has a Fringe with a curl

The man stood in the corner, I was so scared

He handed out tickets, To the public beware

I saw just saw a glimpse, Not knowing him there

Surrounded by statues, Without such a care


And there he served little kids, And there he saw me

Sitting in the corner, As quiet as can be

I did not know who he was, But all I knew was his might

I began to feel those feelings, I had been hiding within my light


He gave his little speech, they cheered him such a store

He stood behind the counter, Watching you forever more

A little girl of five, You wander quietly

And take his little ticket, As quickly as can be


And the little girl, begins to fuss and beam

Constantly calling out, to her mummy in her screams

She picks up the knife, All covered in blood

The man falls to the ground, Red becomes the flood


And she just stands there, Her mummy comforts her so

Her shame now lost, Forever in a glow

And when the police question her, Security beware

The girl sits staring, at the teddy bear with care


And all she keeps repeating, Is just what he did

How he humilated her, The sin he hid

What he made her do, for that little ticket there

The torture that he gave, without such a care


And as the crowds dissapate, and wander back to home

The news stories told, repeated in chrome

And the police leave her be, For she is just a little girl

She jumps over skipping rope, she has a fringe with a curl

Believe

Arrow in Her Back

Slowly standing, the lady in red

The forest in the foreground

The Tree back in stead

Its noisy She Says

As she whispers to you

Silently in a message

Here, I will support you

And you wonder who she is

And you wonder if she cares

Because darn wizz, you need someone there

She offers you a number

Sitting there hoping you call

For Her in her red dress

The arrow is about to fall

So the red dressed lady

Just sit here and waits

Capturing the moment

Before Love and Hate

A transit

Ritual Abuse Conference CT

http://ritualabuse.us/smart-conference/



The 15th Annual Ritual Abuse, Secretive Organizations and Mind Control Conference

August 10 – 12, 2012

DoubleTree near
Bradley International Airport
16 Ella Grasso Turnpike
Windsor Locks, CT

Internet conference information:
http://ritualabuse.us/smart-conference/

2011 Ritual Abuse Conference CDs are now available http://ritualabuse.us/smart-conference/2011-conference/

Conference Goals
- To help stop future occurrences of ritual abuse
- To help survivors of ritual abuse
- To name the groups that have participated in alleged illegal activities
- To unite those working to stop ritual abuse

Conference Schedule
There will be a small get together, deli dinner, dessert and early registration for pre-registered attendees only, on August 10, Friday evening. The conference will be all day on Saturday August 11 and Sunday August 12. Please check our conference home page for the latest conference schedule information. Some presentations will also be recorded.

Such

He was just a bad writer, not knowing what to do

We had a chat, a talk about writing too

And thats where I left him, I could not beware

For it reminded me of the past, that awful stuck lair


And I waited for a while, uncomfortably long

I thought he challenged me with another, feeling so strong

I got a bad impression, was he just like those guys

Would this happen again, I said, ever so wise


And I was told people would help, but I gave up there

For if you grew up with it, they don't really care

Would you wait and wonder, just what will happen next

Will they force you again, force you to have sex


The debate such continues, alone in your head

That old mode of thinking, sometimes you would rather be dead

For its what my dad did, many years ago

Reliving itself in this chatting, ever so slow


I get trapped, I run, I get trapped again, cannot escape

I remember back when I scream, I get upset, I repeat the words; that hate

A little girl crying out just waiting to be heard

Unsure what to do, feeling unheard


For the past replays itself, in your head

Just as you learnt to tie your shoelaces

Or eat crust on your bread

You learn how to relate, with your mum and dad

And there it repeats again and again making you sad


Not sure what to do, not sure what is said

I suppose you just have to trust that thought in your head

And here I am wishing again to forget the past

So AGAIN, I wont have to face this, as it sits and lasts


I can't give you the answers, I have not figured it yet

For I was treated with misery with utter regret

But once I break free, I will understand it then

I know I will get over it, with the help of such friends.

All in This Together

I was fortunate enough to be involved with many others in creating the following song:

Enjoy.

All in This Together.

http://soundcloud.com/catch-music-and-wam/catch-music-and-wam-all-in

In group sessions, we created a positive message about mental health. Music includes harmonica, guitar, bass, snare drums and slide guitar. Much fun had by all in creating this music.

Concrete

Blue clouds

Writing in the sky

A small room

You walk in

Happy

The door is closed

You really don’t know what

Is really the fuss

You see his face

Its bad news

He asks you to sit

Your mind screams

He has something in his hands

This can’t be good

What you have gone through

Is telling you how bad it is

And you cry

You get up

And run

And run

And run

How can your own

Body betray you

Why does it have to happen

To me

And I collapse to the

Concrete

And Cry

Knowing

There is no escape

No escape

Just no escape

And you pick yourself

Up and continue

With the screaming in your head

The constant screaming

It becomes silence it is so loud

You pause

You cry more

You pause

And the screaming comes back

They give you a million things

To do

But the screaming is there….

For

You know

There is no cure

Fast Asleep

The song beats

Drum kit comes in

Some words

A chorus

About

Unknown things

Drifting you back

In time

A knot in your stomach

As the music

Beats

Of how the artist

Tries

Some words

Unknown

But the chorus

Sings out

At you

That switch

That collects you

The beat that

Seems to call out your name

You turn it up

High

Because it says

Exactly how you feel

Their struggle becomes

Yours

And the drift of the music

The quietness

Says exactly

What you wish you

Could

They capture it

Just for you

To listen, in the car

The house

Your mind

That jingle

Until

In a moment to song stops

And you go forward

Knowing that song

Will always be there

I'm Wide Awake

Dim Light Fading

In a line

They choose you

And you feel so wonderful

Alone in your glory

Staring up at the stars

In the sky – thank you God

You say

But then as the line gets shorter

You sit there

And realise

That no one is left

And there is only you waiting

For a blackened tree

And the dim light fading

The Girl and her Ice cube

The little girl
Near the sun
With its rays
Striking out
Holds in her hand
An icecube
And looks at it
Thinking
It will melt the sun
And you sit there
And look at the little girl
In all her futility
Hope against hope
That that little icecube
Will actually make a difference
To the suns shining rays
Laughing at her
I mean hysterical laughter at her
"Its crazy" you say to her
That won't work at all
It will fry before it even gets there
The sun is so hot, it will just
Turn to steam
"Don't throw it" "You can't really think that will work"
"No way in the world will that work"
And another hysterical laugh bellows from your mouth
Alone the little girl stands in her belief, the taunts she takes
And so reaching back
She throws it
And it lands near your feet
And seeing it you realise
What the little girl is saying

Surviving – the After Effects of Sexual Abuse

Online exhibition and presentation.

“Surviving – the After Effects of Sexual Abuse”, at http://renewthruimagination.wordpress.com , is a permanent online art exhibition on surviving and healing from sexual abuse and sexual assault.  The presentation identifies the emotional, psychological, and behaviour difficulties of survivors; and consists of forty mixed media Mandela-shaped images, which is divided into six stages: Minimize, Silence, Respond, Destruct, Relate, and Heal.

The art show aims to: encourage a greater number of persons to embark on a healing process; compliment survivors’ therapeutic process; support facilities which provide services for survivors of abuse and assault; and contribute to an open dialogue to help solve the problems surrounding it.

Thank you for your interest in the exhibition; I hope you find the project beneficial to your own, your family, and your partner’s healing process.

Lost Red Clouds

A little boy stands solidly against the white wall

Telling you, what is wrong

Making mistakes, you remind him

Of what is correct

His leg moves about

He forgets things

Does he know what is coming

Does he know the pain you just went through

Does he understand the anguish

In getting to where he was?

He did not know

Is he blaming me?

A little girl sits on the bed

Going through the same stuff as always

And after all the reading

And all the people

He sits there and dumbfounded

Does not know

He had just done something

Standing there

Watching the tears

For there

Is no answers, no understanding

Just lost red clouds in the sky

Love

Love/Hate

Alexias Morris

Poem Instruction:

Alexias Morris - You're worst person in the world. Said like you dread. Alexiaaaaaaas Morrrrrrris (thump your hand - Its Alexias Morris you are writing about) Alexias Morris Poem She was but a fragment of mind Helped me get out of a bind It was not really what she said By how I took there and hid She was Alexias Morris Yes, Alexias Morris Played a scrabble moonlight Ever feeling so tight Her voice was so high pitched She was but a miss She was Alexias Morris You wanted to watch However it seemed to be squashed Wanting to count But forever she mounts She was Alexias Morris You had such a test It seemed like a mess You wondered what's best She was like the rest She was Alexias Morris And when you were so upset She gave not a rest She was just not there She would not but care She was Alexias Morris You wondered if you Were feeling so blue Were you turned back the front Not caring; it was just her stunt She was Alexias Morris And out of a dream Came this poem so mean You wish you could count 1234 It was but a doubt She was Alexias Morris I know I've been mean Making her scream Turning her inside and out Making her shout She was Alexias Morris So when you see her devine She keeps on your mind Back the front to your own Just remember this poem You've met Alexias Morris And she might be your clone. Alexias Morris Alexias Morris