Emily's Room

Let me walk in
And sit for a while
I know it will bother you
Can I offer a smile
Can I tell you here
Within these walls
Can I take away your nervousness
Can I talk away your falls
And there in your bun
And there in your dress
Can I tell you in the future
You will become impressed
Can I sit by your feet and
Widdle away the hours
Can I sit here and listen
As you write with your powers
And finally will you let me
Just understand your pain
Stay for a while
With nothing to gain
And then when I close the door
And leave your little room
Can you tell me your secret
Of encountering this doom
For you've impressed
This lady of two
With just your wisdom
And the soul within you.

In desperation there is love

In desperation there is love

Stock thanks to
Portraitz [link]
Book-of-Light Stock [link]
Adaae-Stock [link]
Chamber Stock [link]
Glamorous Acid Stock [link]
JoannaStar stock [link]
Markopolio Stock [link]

Would I lose this poem?

The light is bright above me
And the mirror cast in black
Unsure of where I am
Unsure of what I lack

I have been transported
Back to that day of change
The instant before my life
Became so rearranged

And if I just change this scene
Just this moment before
All my what if's are gone
Never to be known any more

Would I walk through that door
And sit down as I eat
Would I continue along
This sure and steady beat

Or would I let it take me
And wake up those again
Would I dismiss the people
That I made here now as friends?

Would I forsake this poem
For that was learnt to
Would I forget how to cope
And learn to say no to you?

For this is what I have learnt
From walking through that door
In overcoming that nightmare
That will live for me anymore

Quiet of the Room

From the quiet of the room
She writes
A little girl in pigtales
With all her might
She is scribbling in her diary
All her dreams
She is missing out all her screams
She is protecting those with
No words
And hiding under the covers
Quite disturbed
And quietly with her pen
She writes
Its all there, as she fights
Some extra horror that she
Knows
Her tears have come to blows
She has written for hours
And no one knows
Just horror stories
That no one sees
Her tear drops as you please
But when she goes to
Hand it on
All she says is
Who cares anyway
No one will respond

Little Girl Remembers

The little girl lays there
Not saying a word
There is a quiet hush
She is becoming disturbed
Her mouth wants to scream
And her feet want to run
But she just stays there
Hating this fun
There is a man to the right
Standing up tall
Her mind there sitting
It is about to fall
And there in front of her
She sees a circle or two
And her mind just blank
And she has a deep breath anew
She is but young
Living in this monsters world
There to the right
The memory is becoming unfurled
And how does she cope
With this monsters awful stare
She just says "Forget it"
And the memory returns to its lair

Seasons Change

Through the winter rain
The lone leaf stood strongly still
Until the spring time

When the flowers rose
The willows made friends with birds
And the sky lit up

To tell you in soft
Reaches that life is but change
Winds it's memory

Willow Tree

There beside the Willow Tree
Where I am sitting with you beside me
I have an umbrella, you sit there straight
Legs out stretched, met by fate

And there it took my breath away
I still feel its heat, still feel it's sway
My mind awash, forgetting it so
That image there that no one knows

And still you sit, not understanding why
It makes me shake; yet to cry
I wish to tell you, but it will make it true
To just whisper the words, there to you

So at the moment I will remain so
Quietly drifting to and fro
In this willow tree, safe and strong
Knowing this is where I belong.

It's All Roses

Thanks for those who provided Stock for "It's All Roses"

FoxStox [link]
Fallin Stock [link]
Saikochan Stock [link]
Kuschelirmel-stock [link]
domitar [link]
Enchantedgal Stock [link]
Two Ladies Stocks [link]
KopaBill-Stock [link]
ItHasTeeth [link]

Just for a Moment

The sea salt raises on the beach
In bubbles
A surprise on the horizon
To the castaway, who surviving
On nothing, sees
An image of the boat
Signalling like crazy
As the boat comes to shore
Their footsteps linger in the
Soft wet sand
We are here to help you
And as you reach out
After years of pain
As a castaway
You realise
That your hand goes through
The mirage
And crying you weep

He did not make it

A slight rain
Came over the bus stop
As the little boy
With the balloon
Stands with you
He feels disjointed
You speak to him
Knowing his pain
The bus stop is clear
The road busy
And you stand for
Just a moment
Telling him
About your days
And you turn away
Realising the bus
Has arrived
And you talk
Slowly into your iphone
Not realising
The boy did not get on
And all you hear from
The distance
Is, "I'm sorry"
And the balloon flying upwards



This poem is dedicated to a 19 year old survivor, whom chose a different path to me in life.

May he rest in peace.

Dany 1993 to August 2012

Happy Birthday to Whitedovesnest.com

Happy Birthday to Whitedovesnest.com.

We put up this website 7 years ago this month. The response to this website was beyond my expectations. I have received many many contributions, emails, thoughts, best wishes and more importantly, this site, that you have visited today, has helped me personally in ways I could never imagine possible when created 7 years ago.

I wish to thank all of those who have been brave enough to submit articles, poetry, art work, Youtubes, songs, resources and writings. I also wish to thank those who have taken the time and courage to contribute their personal abuse and rape stories amongst my own.

May you find some peace and inspiration in these writings here.

Happy Birthday Whitedovesnest!!!!

www.whitedovesnest.com

The Note

It caught your eye
That little girl
Holding the note
That felt so unreal

It came across you
As you wandered past
Scurrying quickly
Way too fast

She stands in purple
Her hair tied in bows
A tear there welling
While no one knows

And she just sits there
Listening to what you say
Remembering back
Remembering yesterday

She could say something
Risk it all
Prepare herself for the
Sudden fall

Toss all those images
From her soul beware
And just trust
That others will care

But as you lean closer
To what she says
What has been giving her
Sleepless days

What horror she holds
She cannot say
The images live within her
Night and day

She sits there
Scribbles something down
Her tears there welling
Her forehead in a frown

And there she holds it
She makes it mine
She holds up a note
Simply reading "I'm fine"

Some Nights

You're Beautiful

That smile
That makes your eyes light up
How you skip down the road
Doing twirlies in the night

Simple pleasures
Dancing to songs
And screaming out loud
With a laugh that makes
People turn their heads

Blowing petals to the wind
Clapping out loud
Screaming at the top of your lungs
Looking in the mirror
Yet again
Pretending you're a princess

Wondering at fireworks
Dancing in the street
Playing skipping ropes
Bouncing with your legs
In anticipation of this day

I'm so lucky
You're beautiful.


Poem to the song What makes You Beautiful by One Direction.

Now

Venom

She sits there
Surrounded by her spiders
Her adoring spiders
Lovely, she works amongst them
In the zoo
Petting them, being with them
Understanding them
Her thin rimmed glasses
Hiding her smiling eyes
As she sits there
And feeds her next spider
Flies, slowly one by one
With tweezers
She lovingly milks their venom
Slowly day by day
So that others will
Get the livesaving drops
And as she reaches down
She feels her leg
It is now plastic
Where they had to
Cut it off
To save her life
Because her pet spider
Nearly killed her
And she looks at you
With lovely caring eyes
Saying
Now I surround myself with spiders
So you don't have to endure

You're the Voice

Lucky enough to see this many times live.

Soul to the Moonlight

   

Can you see it Dwelling within my soul That silent memory Hurting me internally And as I see it There trembling in its mystery I walk slowly And touch it, it burns me With a deep intensity that I run That I cry, and do not return And chose to forget its mystery And I sit down, with the flowerpots behind me And stir my teacup in the shadowed sunlight Many years later And notice my hand shaking It is the memory Resurfacing, just as I stir my tea And I forget And then as I plant the flower The following spring In the pots, the hot sun Causing beads of sweat on my forehead I notice my breath is gone Not because of the weather But the silent memory And as I watch the tv, I realise The memory does not go The memory will return And the only way to resolve it Is to show its Soul to the moonlight. Don't run from it, turn and face it.

Love Swirled

Move on to

Theres a slight sound playing

That is right we were

And I was happy

Elated, full on with

Something

Like a build up

To something else

But then

I realised

That really

There was no one

In this world

That could help

Except me

There were comments

Many

When I started thinking

About it

Then I realised

How important I was

A tingle

Just how important

And it was

So simple in

The end

When before

I did not have this

So I had to let you go

So I could go forward

Into what I was thinking about

And that makes me

Cry.

Because what I had to move onto

Was me.

In my mind

Clear Wide

Red faces that are sliding

Eyes that behold

Ring of dolly behind the door

Straight lines that are told

Blood drops on the floor

With red and blue behind

A white face appears again

Blue lines hit the side

My hands there now touch you

As I see a part of me

A title there does show

What is sitting in front of me

And every day I see this,

Yet it all escapes my thoughts

It is just a simple click of my fingers

That shows me what I ought

So as I take a slow breath

And recount what has given me pause

Im glad Im sitting on this side

And not taken all the applause

So next time you think

That heaven has rocked the earth

Take a slight step back

And really, give it a clear wide berth

Courage

Spearmint Lolly Man

The girl, sitting there near the shop

Spies at the bottom of the lolly packet

A small spearmint lolly

WOW - I have forgotten the spearmint ones

And she takes it and eats it quickly

With a smile on her face

The next girls spies the lolly in the packets

And shies away

Her heart racing

She starts to cry

She turns and runs away

Hiding, remembering

Slowly dying inside

For the lolly

Reminded her

Of Him

You love you

     

Its the monsters breath Getting slight He is trying to get at you With all his might He is trying to scare you now As he did before And here you are trying to calm and more You thought this would be easy Not as hard as this You have been given ideas To return to bliss You dont want to lay vunerable To the monsters teeth And really you know Whats lying beneath But what if he's not, that monster in disguse What if he is just a nice kind man Who wants to help as he tries It is your filter, the monsters put on Effecting you now every year on The panic you feel, is the filters glare Reminding you of the times back there All I know now, is you can escape You can keep yourself safe Not put up with his hate You have the power, deep within That little girl loves you Your protecting her from sin So here is a flower She gives you for now She lets you cry, she lets you howl She lets you shake, she lets you ball She lets you walk, she lets you crawl You have held her hand, through the worse terror yet Something 99 percent of people would rather forget You can protect her, you can get through The courage is right there Because You love You.

On the edge

In time this will be

Wind on my heart

Wind on my Heart



Wind on My Heart

Two little girls
Step one by one along the path
Followed closely behind
By their mum.
The blonde girls turn to their mum
And see in the sky a quiet wind
Pointing, they notice
Layers of lovehearts
Multicoloured
Drifting in the breeze
Held by string
And the mum does not see it
She is watching the monsters behind
Keeping their nasty
Fire, their brimstone at bay
The footpath full of grass
"The hearts are so pretty" says the little girls
Laughing and giggling
The monster from the back
Breathing words of fire
Attacking, wanting the little girls
The mother puts her arms out
Lets balance girls
On the footpath
And the little girls enjoy the sunshine
Playing games in the spectacle
Looking forward, to the brightly coloured
Fireworks
And all they feel from the
Monster
Is the Wind on My Heart



Protect your children. Let them paint and draw love hearts, rather than be abused by who abused you. Stand in between the abuser and never let them past.

Faith of the Heart

It's been a long road
Getting from there to here
It's been a long time
But my time is finally near

And I can feel the change in the wind right now
Nothing's in my way
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna hold me down

'Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith, I’ve got faith, faith of the heart

It's been a long night
Trying to find my way
Been through the darkness
Now I've finally have my day

And I will see my dream come alive at last
I will touch the sky
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna change my mind

'Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith, faith of the heart

I've known the wind so cold, and seen the darkest days.
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change.
I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain.
But I'll be fine.

Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith

I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I've got faith, I've got faith, faith of the heart.

It's been a long road. 

Reveal

She has a Fringe with a curl

The man stood in the corner, I was so scared

He handed out tickets, To the public beware

I saw just saw a glimpse, Not knowing him there

Surrounded by statues, Without such a care


And there he served little kids, And there he saw me

Sitting in the corner, As quiet as can be

I did not know who he was, But all I knew was his might

I began to feel those feelings, I had been hiding within my light


He gave his little speech, they cheered him such a store

He stood behind the counter, Watching you forever more

A little girl of five, You wander quietly

And take his little ticket, As quickly as can be


And the little girl, begins to fuss and beam

Constantly calling out, to her mummy in her screams

She picks up the knife, All covered in blood

The man falls to the ground, Red becomes the flood


And she just stands there, Her mummy comforts her so

Her shame now lost, Forever in a glow

And when the police question her, Security beware

The girl sits staring, at the teddy bear with care


And all she keeps repeating, Is just what he did

How he humilated her, The sin he hid

What he made her do, for that little ticket there

The torture that he gave, without such a care


And as the crowds dissapate, and wander back to home

The news stories told, repeated in chrome

And the police leave her be, For she is just a little girl

She jumps over skipping rope, she has a fringe with a curl

Believe

Arrow in Her Back

Slowly standing, the lady in red

The forest in the foreground

The Tree back in stead

Its noisy She Says

As she whispers to you

Silently in a message

Here, I will support you

And you wonder who she is

And you wonder if she cares

Because darn wizz, you need someone there

She offers you a number

Sitting there hoping you call

For Her in her red dress

The arrow is about to fall

So the red dressed lady

Just sit here and waits

Capturing the moment

Before Love and Hate

A transit

Ritual Abuse Conference CT

http://ritualabuse.us/smart-conference/



The 15th Annual Ritual Abuse, Secretive Organizations and Mind Control Conference

August 10 – 12, 2012

DoubleTree near
Bradley International Airport
16 Ella Grasso Turnpike
Windsor Locks, CT

Internet conference information:
http://ritualabuse.us/smart-conference/

2011 Ritual Abuse Conference CDs are now available http://ritualabuse.us/smart-conference/2011-conference/

Conference Goals
- To help stop future occurrences of ritual abuse
- To help survivors of ritual abuse
- To name the groups that have participated in alleged illegal activities
- To unite those working to stop ritual abuse

Conference Schedule
There will be a small get together, deli dinner, dessert and early registration for pre-registered attendees only, on August 10, Friday evening. The conference will be all day on Saturday August 11 and Sunday August 12. Please check our conference home page for the latest conference schedule information. Some presentations will also be recorded.

Such

He was just a bad writer, not knowing what to do

We had a chat, a talk about writing too

And thats where I left him, I could not beware

For it reminded me of the past, that awful stuck lair


And I waited for a while, uncomfortably long

I thought he challenged me with another, feeling so strong

I got a bad impression, was he just like those guys

Would this happen again, I said, ever so wise


And I was told people would help, but I gave up there

For if you grew up with it, they don't really care

Would you wait and wonder, just what will happen next

Will they force you again, force you to have sex


The debate such continues, alone in your head

That old mode of thinking, sometimes you would rather be dead

For its what my dad did, many years ago

Reliving itself in this chatting, ever so slow


I get trapped, I run, I get trapped again, cannot escape

I remember back when I scream, I get upset, I repeat the words; that hate

A little girl crying out just waiting to be heard

Unsure what to do, feeling unheard


For the past replays itself, in your head

Just as you learnt to tie your shoelaces

Or eat crust on your bread

You learn how to relate, with your mum and dad

And there it repeats again and again making you sad


Not sure what to do, not sure what is said

I suppose you just have to trust that thought in your head

And here I am wishing again to forget the past

So AGAIN, I wont have to face this, as it sits and lasts


I can't give you the answers, I have not figured it yet

For I was treated with misery with utter regret

But once I break free, I will understand it then

I know I will get over it, with the help of such friends.

All in This Together

I was fortunate enough to be involved with many others in creating the following song:

Enjoy.

All in This Together.

http://soundcloud.com/catch-music-and-wam/catch-music-and-wam-all-in

In group sessions, we created a positive message about mental health. Music includes harmonica, guitar, bass, snare drums and slide guitar. Much fun had by all in creating this music.

Concrete

Blue clouds

Writing in the sky

A small room

You walk in

Happy

The door is closed

You really don’t know what

Is really the fuss

You see his face

Its bad news

He asks you to sit

Your mind screams

He has something in his hands

This can’t be good

What you have gone through

Is telling you how bad it is

And you cry

You get up

And run

And run

And run

How can your own

Body betray you

Why does it have to happen

To me

And I collapse to the

Concrete

And Cry

Knowing

There is no escape

No escape

Just no escape

And you pick yourself

Up and continue

With the screaming in your head

The constant screaming

It becomes silence it is so loud

You pause

You cry more

You pause

And the screaming comes back

They give you a million things

To do

But the screaming is there….

For

You know

There is no cure

Fast Asleep

The song beats

Drum kit comes in

Some words

A chorus

About

Unknown things

Drifting you back

In time

A knot in your stomach

As the music

Beats

Of how the artist

Tries

Some words

Unknown

But the chorus

Sings out

At you

That switch

That collects you

The beat that

Seems to call out your name

You turn it up

High

Because it says

Exactly how you feel

Their struggle becomes

Yours

And the drift of the music

The quietness

Says exactly

What you wish you

Could

They capture it

Just for you

To listen, in the car

The house

Your mind

That jingle

Until

In a moment to song stops

And you go forward

Knowing that song

Will always be there

I'm Wide Awake

Dim Light Fading

In a line

They choose you

And you feel so wonderful

Alone in your glory

Staring up at the stars

In the sky – thank you God

You say

But then as the line gets shorter

You sit there

And realise

That no one is left

And there is only you waiting

For a blackened tree

And the dim light fading

The Girl and her Ice cube

The little girl
Near the sun
With its rays
Striking out
Holds in her hand
An icecube
And looks at it
Thinking
It will melt the sun
And you sit there
And look at the little girl
In all her futility
Hope against hope
That that little icecube
Will actually make a difference
To the suns shining rays
Laughing at her
I mean hysterical laughter at her
"Its crazy" you say to her
That won't work at all
It will fry before it even gets there
The sun is so hot, it will just
Turn to steam
"Don't throw it" "You can't really think that will work"
"No way in the world will that work"
And another hysterical laugh bellows from your mouth
Alone the little girl stands in her belief, the taunts she takes
And so reaching back
She throws it
And it lands near your feet
And seeing it you realise
What the little girl is saying

Surviving – the After Effects of Sexual Abuse

Online exhibition and presentation.

“Surviving – the After Effects of Sexual Abuse”, at http://renewthruimagination.wordpress.com , is a permanent online art exhibition on surviving and healing from sexual abuse and sexual assault.  The presentation identifies the emotional, psychological, and behaviour difficulties of survivors; and consists of forty mixed media Mandela-shaped images, which is divided into six stages: Minimize, Silence, Respond, Destruct, Relate, and Heal.

The art show aims to: encourage a greater number of persons to embark on a healing process; compliment survivors’ therapeutic process; support facilities which provide services for survivors of abuse and assault; and contribute to an open dialogue to help solve the problems surrounding it.

Thank you for your interest in the exhibition; I hope you find the project beneficial to your own, your family, and your partner’s healing process.

Lost Red Clouds

A little boy stands solidly against the white wall

Telling you, what is wrong

Making mistakes, you remind him

Of what is correct

His leg moves about

He forgets things

Does he know what is coming

Does he know the pain you just went through

Does he understand the anguish

In getting to where he was?

He did not know

Is he blaming me?

A little girl sits on the bed

Going through the same stuff as always

And after all the reading

And all the people

He sits there and dumbfounded

Does not know

He had just done something

Standing there

Watching the tears

For there

Is no answers, no understanding

Just lost red clouds in the sky

Love

Love/Hate

Alexias Morris

Poem Instruction:

Alexias Morris - You're worst person in the world. Said like you dread. Alexiaaaaaaas Morrrrrrris (thump your hand - Its Alexias Morris you are writing about) Alexias Morris Poem She was but a fragment of mind Helped me get out of a bind It was not really what she said By how I took there and hid She was Alexias Morris Yes, Alexias Morris Played a scrabble moonlight Ever feeling so tight Her voice was so high pitched She was but a miss She was Alexias Morris You wanted to watch However it seemed to be squashed Wanting to count But forever she mounts She was Alexias Morris You had such a test It seemed like a mess You wondered what's best She was like the rest She was Alexias Morris And when you were so upset She gave not a rest She was just not there She would not but care She was Alexias Morris You wondered if you Were feeling so blue Were you turned back the front Not caring; it was just her stunt She was Alexias Morris And out of a dream Came this poem so mean You wish you could count 1234 It was but a doubt She was Alexias Morris I know I've been mean Making her scream Turning her inside and out Making her shout She was Alexias Morris So when you see her devine She keeps on your mind Back the front to your own Just remember this poem You've met Alexias Morris And she might be your clone. Alexias Morris Alexias Morris

Twitter

@whitedovesnest

Join me at Twitter at @whitedovesnest. Tweeting about childhood sexual abuse, links, information and resources.

View links and tweets of interest now. Follow me if you have an account.

She is but...

 She can sense it coming

That doom spreading in her body

She is but 12, the age of change

She can see the comet

Coming towards her

Dashing through the sky

In 20 years

She sees it daily

She reports it

To her local authority

‘She is but 12”

They say

And on that day

They are condemning

The human race.

Art Show

While No One Was Watching Survivors of child sexual abuse in art exhibit on this silent epidemic A national tragedy and a health epidemic of shocking proportions are going unnoticed by the media and unaddressed by Americans and our institutions. One in six boys and one in four girls will be sexually abused before age eighteen. “500,000 babies born in the U.S. this year will be sexually abused before 18 if we do not prevent it.” -Darkness to Light organization Sexually-abused girls grow up three times more likely to become drug addicts. Children who’ve been abused generally have higher rates of teen pregnancy, sexually-transmitted disease, depression, hostility, and difficulty forging close relationships. Unbeknownst to most Americans, April is both National Child Abuse Prevention Month, and National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month. To bring attention to those observances, the International Agency for Minority Artists Affairs presents, “While No One Was Watching,” a group art exhibit to give voice to the silent epidemic of child sexual abuse.


More info at http://iamaagroupartshow-cbchapelle.blogspot.com.au/

Ice creams are only for Angels

Wandering, through the shopping center
She picks a little flower from the
Garden floor
She wanders up to the stall owner
Near his clown trailer, to play
"Win a prize, Win a prize" he says
"Win a prize, win a prize" he says

And you watch, from a distance
In a dream, not really paying much attention
Studying the flower in her hand
You turn your back, if for an instant
And you notice the clown, once
Content, now his face is a tear

Watching the little girl
You have seen her drop the flower
Play with the bottom of her skirt
Twirl and dance away
Lost in her vision,
As she plays and plays

Watching the clowns as they spin
Back and forth, their face stuck
In an internal rhythm
Back and forth
Back and forth

And as you watch her
Twirl, Where are her friends?
She is alone
And in a blink of an eye, your downward gaze
She is gone; the clown sad and lost

And there she is
Screaming, blonde, crying
Tears streaming down her face
Her mother
Crying.

"Where is my daughter"
"where is my daughter"

The clown disappeared, and all you can describe
Is the face, and his tear
And the van
But the precise moment, your
Downward gaze, moved
You were a stranger, watching a girl, dance

And you wander away
Not knowing what to do
For really you can only describe
The simple scene
And remember this
As, Icecreams are only for Angels

Skateboarding the Nullarbor

New look!

Wow, Whitedoves Blog has a new look. Hope you enjoy your visit here. Please feel free to read the comments from readers of the blog and enjoy your time here.

Our main website is at www.whitedovesnest.com.

Currently receiving 250 unique visitors per day on www.whitedovesnest.com. Visits have doubled during 2011.

The Snow Flake

Soft; it rides the wind
So chrystaline does it shine
A tear from heaven

The sun dips slowly
Rotating forward; it dies
Drifts through the mountain

The snowflake lifts fine
And moves slowly on her palm
Sitting upright tall

She touches it fast
The flake folds in her soft hand
Dying, the girl cries

Comparing the flake
To her internal sadness
Melts slowly inside

Never dies

They sit on the pond
Two ducks
Across the lilypad
Backs turned
Unspoken

Invisible net
Not speaking
Silence dwells beneath
The two birds
Stern, the lady
Crosses her wings
Defiant

Silent; the male duck
Is apart, wondering
What did I do?
And there is rainfall
And snow
The pond is frozen

Still they stand
Separate
Different ends of the pond
The distant fights gone
"Stay at your end"
The long ago anger
Disappated
For what is left to say

A hunter
Sees the two ducks
And knows
That he has but one shot
With the two ducks
On the pond
The season is here

Which one does he choose?
He wonders as he sets up the shot
One in daylight
One by a tree
Does it matter which one?

The hunter does not why
He sees the female through the
Guns sights
Slowly; slowly raises and aims
Laying back
He waits

The male duck
Here's but a noise from the
Waters edge
Unknown
He has not seen the hunter
The female
Not knowing
Not seeing for her back is turned
Hears the rustling softly by

Anger, she says
She turns around to confront the duck
Aiming at him
Anger amasses from her
The male duck is moving she thinks!

And across the pond
She flies
As he flies towards her
His journey different
And just when she realises
Why
She hears it
A shot
In the distance

And the piercing cry
Of the bullet
As it strikes through her heart
And pierces his, trying to save her.


Love never dies.

Most beautiful heart

Came across this the other day...

The Spoon Theory

Link to The Spoon Theory. Interesting short story


http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/

Awareness Article

Awareness Article in Dolly Australia with links on where to go for help and helplines.

Dolly is a popular young teens magazine and website, published for many years in Australia, creating awareness of sexual assault in Australia, with links and stories about the topic.

Congratulations to Dolly for bringing forward awareness of the topic in Australia in their well known magazine.


Link to article "I was sexually assaulted" outlining reality of abuse by stepfather.

http://dolly.ninemsn.com.au/girltalk/realityreads/8427580/i-was-sexually-assaulted

Song

You can't chase the sun

You cant chase the sun
If you are the moon
You cannot run forward
The earth is too soon

For their stands beneath
This unwritten law
Not sure what it is
But it knows the score

And the moon circles around
Its dark side all lost
We see it again
Not paying the costs

And there is the earth
It is attracted to
But it cannot follow the sun
It circles like you

And what can it do
Apart from going on
Effecting the earth
Its tide ever so strong

And some planets have more
Than this little moon
Nothing remarkable
Its getting dark soon

And just when its all
Going so bad
The moon raises it head
And its really not sad

For looking down,
It sees the telescopes
Earths occupants stare
At the moons lovely slopes

And so you see
The man on the moon
Everyone can feel the sun
But looks at you always soon

A stepping stone
The moon rotates
We are all here
In its funny shapes

Its battered and buried
Taking all of the fear
And disappears quick
As the sun comes so near

So when you realise
While the sun is so harsh
The moon has been there
And taken the comets; protecting at last

A horse

A horse

Lets find a place
Where the horses do go
To carry their load
Walking to a fro

And here is one
Saying his peace
Wandering what to do
Waiting at least

And he has carried his load
Too much before
His masters all lost
He's paid the in the law

Making plans for the future
When the past was dead
Wanting to move forward
Moving ahead

He has moved onto pastures
Seeing the green
Passing over his losses
He's stopped being so mean

And there in the distance
The horse will play
For its another sun rise
On this summers day.

Fright Lost

Violins play
Piano notes
I cannot go on
With this sudden pain
The past is history
Moving on
Its gone on too much
I can never stay here
Lost, alone
Again and again
Even though I wish I could stay
I am gone
Hands up
I am alone
Years gone
Forward again
Past is past
Forgetting the pain
Packing my bags
Writing my notes
The saddness will go
The tears will disappear
And finally fright lost
Someone else will appear.

Too late for dirt

The ocean creeps up on the door,
A tear drop falls, near the floor
A little girl crying, a flood of life
Her day a mess, her heart a stife

And she clings to the little dolly
And sucks again on her winter lolly
Seeing in the distance a man of worth
Buried, lying solidly in the earth

And in the mornings she wakes with nightmares
Of thoughts, of hate, of all her hidden scares
And as she sits and shakes, and the symbols play
Its yet another life, yet another frightful day

And all these men, all the same
Playing some type of weird game
She clings to her dolly, once more here
Not knowing when she will be safe, ever near

And she walks into the ocean, dolly in hand
Leaving her life behind, a little hair strand
And no one will ever know how much it all hurt
For her daddy treated her like dirt.

Melbourne, Australia Art Event

sexual abuse pain creativity well being

no longer watching

from behind the curtain



beautiful mosaics created by women

exploring creativity transformation beauty

31 January- 28 February 2012

Queen Victoria Women’s Centre

210 Lonsdale Street Melbourne VIC 3000





EXHIBITION DETAILS

Queen Victoria Women’s Centre Gallery

8.30am to 5.00pm, Monday to Friday

P: (03) 8668 8100

E venues@qvwc.org.au

W: www.qvwc.org.au



SECASA provides a range of services to support people affected by

sexual abuse. Amongst these are creative workshops for women.

Freedom Picture

Merry Christmas

My path

Piano beat
Breath
Alone
Running
Signs
Long words
Lost in the beat
Symbols appearing
Meaning everything
And nothing
Another breath
Where was I
It is now a memory
Running
Lines
Houses from the past
Streets make my life
Memories thread all over me
Lost
Shaking shoulders
Not forgotten
With me forever
Hatred
Distress
The beat changes
Not my fault
Left behind
Move on
Passing memories
Moving forward
Positive
Future
No changing
Fast
Time taken
Relief
Relief
Relief
Relief
Relief
Relief
Relief
Relief
Relief

What would you think

And if you were in the room
Giving birth to the world
And you could hear a piano
People demanding
But your job was to
Bear humanity
And you thoughts go
Through the earth and
Pass onto your children
What would you think
Would you think
War
Peace
Love
Anger
Positive
Major
Fine
Strong
Live
Beat
Hate
Line

Love Haiku

The winter is gone
Bright sun smothers the sky blue
Love is found today

You're the Voice

Left to..

The beat thumps
I remember back
A tear drops
An umbrella slides
I run to the street
I see everyone
And everything
Crying and anger
The guitar strum
A generation in my net
My leg bounces
In anticipation
As I remember
What this song
Means
And there is no fright
There is just
Listening to the song
That I nearly
Left to......


Inspired by Bob Sinclair - Soul Generation

There they are

Just when you are feeling down
Like nothing in this world
Will care
No one to cry to
No one to be there
And you cry to a god
That does not exist
Where just where
Send me someone
Please just someone to care
And your tears
Drop unknown
By your side

And then when you just
Need something
A change
A simple change
Knowing that nothing can
Make you feel
You walk in
And there sitting beside you
Is just a familiar face
A familar smile
Just a tad older
Someone to count on
Who you trust and understand
And you know them
Though you just met
And there is that feeling
You were just missing
Knowing that it is ok to
Care
Because they do

14th November 2011

Walking in a Straight Line

Bronte's Story on Anorexia

Don't give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/8358088/brontes-story-anorexia-teen-marries

Sitting on the dock of the bay....

A friend

She screams at you every night
And cuddles you every day
And cries beneath the sheets
In some fantastic way

And she makes you go here and there
And she flits without such a care
And she runs around full steam ahead
And throws around that brown little bear

And she sits and stares at little white balloon
And cries and howls at the full moon
And loves you with all delight
And then hates you with such sudden fright

And then finally after so many years
Of being forgotten through so many tears
You get reminded every now and again
You only need to look inside to find a lovely friend

My Little Pumpkin Vine

I always wished I had a pumpkin vine
And then I grew one within my spine
Tending nicely, eating slow
Running to and running fro

And there she was, all lovely and fine
A little plant, I knew she was mine
Was there something wrong, the gardener said
I cried a bit, but everything was fed

And as I watched, that pumpkin grow
Oh how I loved this plant and so
A little bit, every day
A little sprout, a leaf I say

It sits there; turns away to the sun
A little bit each day and has some fun
I water it every now and again
And give some fertiliser and when

And I teach it to love to hear me sing
And I take it under my loving wing
And then every now and again it smiles
That little pumpkin vine; worthwhiles

And then that pumpkin vine falls asleep
I cover it at night in a sheet
That pumpkin vine, so high and low
My pumpkin vine, how I love you so

Whitedove

A bird flying,

Its wings soaring through the sky,

Love floats in the air, no; I’m not lying.

It travels over mountains, water, trees, and cities.

This white dove is as peaceful as can be,



A very pretty bird- as the little girls think,

I love this dove, my heart sinks when I see it.

This dove, is my mother.

What is the bridge

Hold my hand on the island
Fill the ocean on its shores
Watch the seashells in the moonlight
See the sand as it pours

Sit by the berm in the daylight
Rest my head for a while
Not understanding what is happening
Silence is the best as we file

The bridge is a bit weary
The forest black from fires beware
Something swift hit the island softly
Turned our backs of something with care

Heaven is not always perfect
Hell can always slowly seep in
For you see you will never recognise
What has really ever happened with a sin

And have you ever wondered
Really what is that little bridge
That keeps us hanging together
Hiding there over that ridge

It keeps the ocean at bay
Sturdy however that may be
I close the door on it every now and again
And cry and cry at it every day

And I only just really recognised what it was
As I swiftly wrote out this little note
For the bridge is our love
Slowly joining us, over the moat.

And the little crystal I place in the middle
Is a reminder there to you
You are not alone on your island
Your island is now made for two

Not yet.

I once knew a little girl
Who sat by the door
Writing letters
Calling, visiting
Seeing if she could find
A pure heart.
For she thought none existed
A tear drops
As she writes, day after day
Telling why
Telling how
Searching
Hearing birds and angels
Saying...
It does not exist
Silently
Praying that it does
Seeking one after the other
A slow tweet, a soul here and there
To be found.... but alas
It was not to be
A number tell her
Be careful
Her thoughts say
But...it could be
She returns to searching
Writing, wondering
Being turned away
Questioned
Being told no
Not possible
Never
Grown up with a black heart
Does it exist
She keeps seeking
That little girl
Tries again
In vain
For there must be someone out there
That will
Not do this
All over again

From the mouth of a child

A little white room
On the edge
Of a world, vast
And within the room
Stands a little girl
With pig tails, tied in blue
Dressed in a little white dress
With neat little white shoes
And she is asked
"What will you fill this room with"
And she lifts her eyelids heaven wards
A slow tear drop falls
Her gaze slips slowly to the ground
She circles her foot on the floor
Pondering
Staring out the window
Through the night
To a tree
In the distance
And then slowly she realises
It's the basic thought
That everyone wants

And as the tear slowly melts to the ground

"I fill this room with love"

Lecture

The Date Safe Project

Visit www.datesafeproject.com for more information

WHILE NO ONE WAS WATCHING: Fifteen artists join voices to bring tumultuous, c...

WHILE NO ONE WAS WATCHING: Fifteen artists join voices to bring tumultuous, c...: "For Immediate Release       April 13, 2011 While No One Was Watching Survivors of child sexual abuse in art exhibit on this silent epidemic..."

Not that hard to find

Things are fully strange and weird
And everythings not there quite right
They are all there left of centre
Displayed and quite full of fright

And it just seems like a full on nightmare
Searching through rooms and rooms
Looking for no one that is there
Not finding you through all the doom

And someone is following me around
Its called a thought of screaming denial
All dressed up in pretty flowing ribbons
Calling out through love and running fruit trials

And houses are there out of whack
And animals not joined together quite full steam ahead
And outside thoughts toss over in my mind
And everything is very wrong instead

And everybody sits there and waits
While the denial just sorts through my mind
For the truth is always out there
Its really not that hard to find.

When the World Would Prefer Silence

Submitted by Casey - a survivor


She speaks when the world

Would prefer silence

Words stumble

Over her tongue, teeth, lips

memories

Tears act as barriers

To both her speech and hearing

The world avoids emotions



Glares given because

she is the breaking

the cyclic silence

Generations old

do not help her pain



Sad eyes connecting to mouths

From which weighty “I’m sorry”s escape

Harming more than helping her

Eternally unable to take away

Or nullify

The violations of his hands

Unwanted, and wandering

the frozen body

Of a woman unsure of why

Her friend is betraying her

As her tears stream

And she whimpers in pain

A hand covers her mouth

From which noise escapes



The kisses neither he nor she

cared about end

As has his imminent touching ensues

He lowers her garments swiftly

And forces his entrance through

Her private gates



Deeply his hands penetrate

Carving swelling paths

To deeper pain

She is the victim of subterfuge

Lies awake

Her body is sleeping in shock

She manages to whisper “stop” into

The hand arresting her mouth



The perpetrator holds down her wrists

And presses himself hard on

Her weak and quiet body

As he speaks the words

“You’re okay”

Like the crimes committed

Were not meant “that way”

Silence overcomes

The pained whisperer

The subterfugist pins her down

And tears fall towards the ground

Silence is overcoming

As the dominant man heaves breaths

On the forced sub-missive’s face



The broken woman feign’s sleep

And the breaker moves away

It is the beginning of a second day

Of which the first never ended

And now pain overrides her

And she cannot speak

Of the atrocities he committed

which harmed her

For hours or more

After the havoc wreaking

Monster disappeared

From her bedroom floor



When the silence is broken

By a stuttering text

To a friend

Tears flowed again

Sent to somewhere safe to be

A place where words could escape

Without fear of increased

Induced pain



The silence is breaking

With each word escaping

Stumbling over her tongue, teeth, lips

And Memories of horrible

Atrocities



She speaks when the world

Would prefer she kept silent

Regretting the whispers

Of “This happened to me”

And wishing her heart could believe

Her mind as it screams

“What happened to me was not my fault”

“What happened to me was not my fault”

“What happened to me was not my fault”



.(Thanks to StaceyAnn Chin for inspiration in the last lines).

Lean on Me

Ice Tear Drop

She sits alone near the lake

Once happy here

The seasons change

And it is surrounded

By dead trees

And frosted nights

She revisited

In hopes, that the

Lake had unfrozen

That the waters shone again

But all that was left

Was her tear drop

Sliding across the ice.

Deep breath

Time taken to write a story
Words carefully spoken outloud
Hidden silent within times spaces
A hidden frown, a nightmare finally said so proud

One key typed after another
Depicting a horror nightmare to unfold
Something that was to be visited
In nightmares, in visions, in turmoil, untold

Alone, frightened and suddenly fearful
This is not supposed to happen; especially to me
The sickening memory to stay with us
Shared silently; here let it be

And really there is nothing that can be done,
Apart from share it hear amongst friends
Describe the horror so eloquently
A silent tear drop, the weight carried as it ends.

Hero

In those million grains of sand

I wonder if you still think about me
As I sit here and listen to our song
The one you did not know was ours
Staring at numbers on a lonely street
Sitting across from a cafe that you
Will never see
Embarking in something
You will never know about

Did I really scare you that much?
That you could not call out my name
That you would rather run
Than cross this road with me

There is truth
There is such a thing as love
May you find your cloud
And may you find your crystal
Within those million grains of sand

Masks

DNA

Girl with flower
Wanders
Across
The park
Green fields of grass
To the tower
Of stairs
Looking up
Sees
The tall building
In the clouds
Trees
Step by step
She climbs
Around and around
Taking your hand
"Here it is"
She says
To you
And as you look in wonder
You turn
as you both reach the top
Surrounded in wonder
And she reaches out
And gives you a flower
Hand in hand
Gazing out
Over the river
Joined by the crisscross
Of dna and a hug

Little Girl Running

Running silently from the classroom
Little girl crying with sudden tears
A quiet little sentence
In amongst the bullies fears

He passed it to me slowly
I was a little blonde girl all of eight
Swinging on my chair in the teachers room
As she did the sums and spellings all of late

And he looked at me so solemnly
The quiet boy in the room
I had been watching him for a while
But really had not noticed him so soon

And in this little note was how
He was living here of late
Of how this person was visiting him
And doing things of horror and hate

And as I read and read
Of what this note contained
I realised why this boy was silent
The horror deeply ingrained

And swinging back on my chair
More horror yet to come
A slow tear began to trickle
And I got up from my seat and began to run

The other side of the playground
And there I began to shake and cry
The sheer horror the boy had gone through
The silence was all he could but try

And there is nothing I can really tell you
Apart from I went home from school early that day
And in the night time darkness,
My little teddy bear comforted me all the way

The Black Room

Door closed
Wooden footsteps
Heaven knows
Pick a petal
Solid wall
Scary noise
Feeling small
And then she comes
Little girls
Seeing summer
Forever whirls
Spinning constantly
Seeing ghosts
Picks a posy
Knocking posts
She asks you questions
Makes you mad
Pokes her tongue
You are sad
You move about
And get so lost
Wondering why
Hidden moss
Room is dark
Fans awhirl
She picks flowers
Pretty swirl
In the floor
Plants them slowly
Forever more
And pats them down
Sings a tune
To the moon
Dancing slowly
Darkness light
Taking care
Hidden delight
And you realise
The hidden goal
You are both
Within his soul

Sandra - Survivor Video

Remembered

Alone she waits
A soft wind blows
She takes out her
Yellow flower
And blows kisses
As the petals
Float to the wind
Softly drifting
Over the waves
She knows
You are there
She waits
For she knows
A prayer
That you made
Will be remembered

Just Silence in my tears

In the house
With a monster
Living every day
Lost and alone
Curtains blue
Home to soon
Dashes, hides
More curtains
Abuse everywhere
No feelings
Lost
Crying but cannot cry
For what if he hears
Footsteps down
The hall
Don't stop
Don't come in
Please, please
Praying
Don't come in
The continuing forward
Praying for someone
To take you away
Some handsome prince
But
They fade
There is no one there
Just silence in my tears

Scared of Basketballs

A while back, when my hair was blonde
A basketball hurt me, above and beyond
I was left mentally scarred, scared to my knees
Of basketballs, of courts, and of cheerleaders flees

And do you know quite casually, how often they appear,
I cannot get rid of them, and this awful dreadful fear
I just remember just what that basketball did
And how just after it, from basketballs I hid

The courts they send me into complete agony and fear,
Looping out of control, I cannot get near
And the lines they mix, altogether it seems
The memories of the hospital, the hits, I am not so keen

So I stayed away for years, not wanting that court
Not wanting to be near, no way, no ought,
And now what goes and happens, there is something that comes too
I have to sit there next to a basketball court, watching my daughter with you

And as the memories surface, from that time before
When the lines mixed together, when I felt so sore
When it becomes clear, when unknown what to do
I sit here staring at the basketball court, unknown by you

And thus far, I have run, hiding away
Not going near the basketball court, unknown what to say
And when I get too close, it starts again
Confronting I take off, fear knows that grin

And really no one knows, that I have such a fear
That I cannot live within a distance of the basketball clear
And I will continue to write, for I am unknown what to do
Just how do I get over the fear - I will leave it up to you.