Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Happy Birthday Whitedoves Nest!!

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday Whitedoves Nest
Happy Birthday to you

What a journey the past two years have been. Whitedoves Nest for me has been one of the most important projects I have done in my life. For myself personally, it has given me tremendous growth and given me many survivor friends and contacts. Many years ago I thought I was completely alone, and now I know I am not.

I know when I first created Whitedoves Nest that I was consumed with completing it. I had various designs and looks for the front page, and was satisified with the look that is now seen by visitors. I have updated templates and added much more since its inception in Aug 2005.

In the time since, I have become a published poet, overcome the loss of my family of origin due to the abuse that occurred in my childhood, I have appeared on radio promoting survivor projects that I am involved with and travelled to America from Australia. I have also helped many many people who visit the site looking for inspiration and asking questions. Poetry and submissions has been used from this site for sexual assault conferences and inspiration by many.

I have also in this time threatened my abuser (father) with police action due to unwanted contacts. I have also spoken to other family members and have been met with much violence and anger, over discussing abuse in my family.

I have been blessed in many ways. I wish to thank my husband, who has helped in a big way to setup Whitedoves Nest initally and I know visits on occassion. I would also like to thank two dear friends who help me personally move forward in my healing.

I would also like to thank the 60,000 + visitors over this time for their support and courage.



Wednesday, August 15, 2007

One good memory

A little house; along a street
A simple place; nice and neat
A wooden fence; go straight in
Holding hands; my daddys grin

Here chose an apple; the owner says
You can have it free; we smile for days
A simple time; with my dad
Of riding bikes; of feeling glad

Of horsey rides; and swimming too
Of movies that were meant for you
Of trust and laughter; of times so great
Of birthday parties; and turning eight

A solid tear sheds my eye
I remember this and wonder why
I can think of no more; as I pass ten
Because of that day; when I learnt about men

A darkened night; all alone
Watching tv; I could hear its drone
An enclosed room; an innocent child
I close my eyes; what I see as he smiled

The ride back; after the deed
I cannot remember; I cannot heed
But I know my lesson taught
My nerves become frayed; I am overwrought

To live each day; in his home
Planning how not to be alone
With this man who is my dad
Crying tears and shaking mad

To live a life; running away
Being an adult; all in one day
Thinking his hands; and his touch
Thoughts of mine; become too much

And so when you ask; a good memory there
Of loving thoughts; of a dad who cares
I think back on the apple scene
It only hurts; it makes me scream