Sensation Overload

Sensation Overload

This is how I felt when my body and senses were overloaded with Pain and Torture

By Gabriel Orion Marie

http://gabrielorionmarie.com/

Stages of Burden

Stages of the Burden: This painting shows how the Burden/Weight of Abuse that began early in my childhood got heavier and heavier in my life until it Crushed me and I collapsed with the pain

By Gabriel Orion Marie
http://gabrielorionmarie.com

Who I am -- is not for your amusement

I am not your amusement child, for when you are stressed or weary of the world
I do not look sexy or cute, do not entice anything out of me, with your sexual connotations


I am but a child, sitting there watching tv
Learning about the world, all of such eight, staring out the window


Not yet grown, not understanding that there is evil out there
And evil there laying on the couch -- watching me -- waiting, planning


For when the house is empty, ready to pray on me
Decisive, practiced, many a girl before me, and many after me


So I wonder, what went through in your mind, when you decided to violate my body
When you decided, what my life should be.


     Was it that you were stressed, like you told me so many years later, when I grew up
     Or was it just that you were a man -- weak, useless and cruel

My childhood memories

My childhood memories

Silent bird calls
Creaking houses
Noises from corners
She sits
Writing
On her notepad
Whirring of the fridge
Noises, coughs, beeps
From out the back
    She pauses to hear
    A door closing
    Footsteps
    Down the hall
    Walking forward
    Pausing
    Not scary
    Hiding looking
    For hiding spots
The fridge makes a noise
The birds stop
Birds flying outside
Sunlight drifts in
A deep breath
Difficult day
Eyes glinting
In the morning
    Hidden she is
    From his glare
    He cannot see her
    Under the bed
    She sits there listening
    Waiting
    Waiting for the footsteps
    To wander on down the hall
    Waiting
    Scared
    Nothing
    Surreal
Shadecloth
Shadows
Fireplace
Creaking of the walls
Silence
Humming of the fridge
Tv off
Light across the wire
    It continues past the door
    Into the kitchen
    Where there is no noise
    I wait
    Wait scared surreal
    Springs under the mattress
    Gazing outside
    Seeing no escape
    Hoping for escape
    Nothing there
    No one there
    But him
Dogs barking
In the distance
As I remember
Sitting here
My childhood memories

The bravest girl I know

For anonymous

You sat there listening
To a fifteen year old
Tell you tragic news
Of her father in jail


Because she put him there
And her family blamed her
And ostracised her
And her mother had taken to drugs


"She could no longer take it"
His constant raping of her
"She could no longer take it"
And now, she lived alone in hate

The End of a Smile

"Her home is the well
She is lost in the city
Of rain and water
I have dirt across my face
Staring into the night sky
And she blows
Dandeloin seeds
To the wind
As you smile"

The Girls Monster

A little girl
Walks up
And asks you -- yes you

Pulling on
Your shirt
There is a monster
Back there
She is frightened

She turns to you - yes you
And says
Can you help me

Face the monster
They don't believe me
That it exists
And I need
To see

And you turn - yes you
You turn and say.......

Hands

 

Thanks to Bringmethesilence for this art

Emily's Room

Let me walk in
And sit for a while
I know it will bother you
Can I offer a smile
Can I tell you here
Within these walls
Can I take away your nervousness
Can I talk away your falls
And there in your bun
And there in your dress
Can I tell you in the future
You will become impressed
Can I sit by your feet and
Widdle away the hours
Can I sit here and listen
As you write with your powers
And finally will you let me
Just understand your pain
Stay for a while
With nothing to gain
And then when I close the door
And leave your little room
Can you tell me your secret
Of encountering this doom
For you've impressed
This lady of two
With just your wisdom
And the soul within you.

Quiet of the Room

From the quiet of the room
She writes
A little girl in pigtales
With all her might
She is scribbling in her diary
All her dreams
She is missing out all her screams
She is protecting those with
No words
And hiding under the covers
Quite disturbed
And quietly with her pen
She writes
Its all there, as she fights
Some extra horror that she
Knows
Her tears have come to blows
She has written for hours
And no one knows
Just horror stories
That no one sees
Her tear drops as you please
But when she goes to
Hand it on
All she says is
Who cares anyway
No one will respond

Some Nights

You love you

     

Its the monsters breath Getting slight He is trying to get at you With all his might He is trying to scare you now As he did before And here you are trying to calm and more You thought this would be easy Not as hard as this You have been given ideas To return to bliss You dont want to lay vunerable To the monsters teeth And really you know Whats lying beneath But what if he's not, that monster in disguse What if he is just a nice kind man Who wants to help as he tries It is your filter, the monsters put on Effecting you now every year on The panic you feel, is the filters glare Reminding you of the times back there All I know now, is you can escape You can keep yourself safe Not put up with his hate You have the power, deep within That little girl loves you Your protecting her from sin So here is a flower She gives you for now She lets you cry, she lets you howl She lets you shake, she lets you ball She lets you walk, she lets you crawl You have held her hand, through the worse terror yet Something 99 percent of people would rather forget You can protect her, you can get through The courage is right there Because You love You.

The Girl and her Ice cube

The little girl
Near the sun
With its rays
Striking out
Holds in her hand
An icecube
And looks at it
Thinking
It will melt the sun
And you sit there
And look at the little girl
In all her futility
Hope against hope
That that little icecube
Will actually make a difference
To the suns shining rays
Laughing at her
I mean hysterical laughter at her
"Its crazy" you say to her
That won't work at all
It will fry before it even gets there
The sun is so hot, it will just
Turn to steam
"Don't throw it" "You can't really think that will work"
"No way in the world will that work"
And another hysterical laugh bellows from your mouth
Alone the little girl stands in her belief, the taunts she takes
And so reaching back
She throws it
And it lands near your feet
And seeing it you realise
What the little girl is saying