$5.00 Death

My father sold me to other men for oral sex for $5.00. I died inside every time. It happened many times when I was 4-6 years old. I was also used for making child pornography.

by Gabriel Orion Marie
http://gabrielorionmarie.com

Sensation Overload

Sensation Overload

This is how I felt when my body and senses were overloaded with Pain and Torture

By Gabriel Orion Marie

http://gabrielorionmarie.com/

Wishful Crowd Funding Opportunity

Check out this link for trailers and opportunities to help Help support funding of short film on effect of rape. Link to site http://www.pozible.com/project/181738

Who I am -- is not for your amusement

I am not your amusement child, for when you are stressed or weary of the world
I do not look sexy or cute, do not entice anything out of me, with your sexual connotations


I am but a child, sitting there watching tv
Learning about the world, all of such eight, staring out the window


Not yet grown, not understanding that there is evil out there
And evil there laying on the couch -- watching me -- waiting, planning


For when the house is empty, ready to pray on me
Decisive, practiced, many a girl before me, and many after me


So I wonder, what went through in your mind, when you decided to violate my body
When you decided, what my life should be.


     Was it that you were stressed, like you told me so many years later, when I grew up
     Or was it just that you were a man -- weak, useless and cruel

Believe

 

 

 

Thanks to http://starfire-hero.deviantart.com/ Starfire-Hero for this picture.

My Seven Year Diary

A poem cataloguing the journey that is Whitedoves Nest.

She stands in purple
Risk it all
Try your local library
For these books
Walked up to the
My childhood memories
Therapy
The right touch
"Free Shipping"
While no one was watching
There is a whisper in heaven
She was busy looking
At the floor and the money
Journals; blue clouds
I watch and talk to him
My Children
And as I whisper
About this site
A few things
We thank you for the many hours
Of support and talk
A small room
You walk in -- Inspired

Never a Smile

There in the distance
I see a tree
Here close up you
Remember the swing
I cry for I will never have
A father to be there
To see the delight
In my smile.

Prezi - But I am Your Voice by Whitedove

But I am Your Voice on Prezi

My childhood memories

My childhood memories

Silent bird calls
Creaking houses
Noises from corners
She sits
Writing
On her notepad
Whirring of the fridge
Noises, coughs, beeps
From out the back
    She pauses to hear
    A door closing
    Footsteps
    Down the hall
    Walking forward
    Pausing
    Not scary
    Hiding looking
    For hiding spots
The fridge makes a noise
The birds stop
Birds flying outside
Sunlight drifts in
A deep breath
Difficult day
Eyes glinting
In the morning
    Hidden she is
    From his glare
    He cannot see her
    Under the bed
    She sits there listening
    Waiting
    Waiting for the footsteps
    To wander on down the hall
    Waiting
    Scared
    Nothing
    Surreal
Shadecloth
Shadows
Fireplace
Creaking of the walls
Silence
Humming of the fridge
Tv off
Light across the wire
    It continues past the door
    Into the kitchen
    Where there is no noise
    I wait
    Wait scared surreal
    Springs under the mattress
    Gazing outside
    Seeing no escape
    Hoping for escape
    Nothing there
    No one there
    But him
Dogs barking
In the distance
As I remember
Sitting here
My childhood memories

Cannot remember

You sat there
Seeing it happen
Before your eyes
In your mind

Amazement at the
Loss of memory
Where I was
Upset at the place

You saw it in your mind
A locked closet
You turn to
Face the mystery

And by the orchard
You explain
Why you
Cannot remember

Remain Calm

Remain Calm

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Gorgigami [link]
Averstra Stock [link]
ArwenArts [link]

The bravest girl I know

For anonymous

You sat there listening
To a fifteen year old
Tell you tragic news
Of her father in jail


Because she put him there
And her family blamed her
And ostracised her
And her mother had taken to drugs


"She could no longer take it"
His constant raping of her
"She could no longer take it"
And now, she lived alone in hate

The Girls Monster

A little girl
Walks up
And asks you -- yes you

Pulling on
Your shirt
There is a monster
Back there
She is frightened

She turns to you - yes you
And says
Can you help me

Face the monster
They don't believe me
That it exists
And I need
To see

And you turn - yes you
You turn and say.......

The Dream

She wakes up
And sees the
Dream she just had
Famous people
Helicopters
Space rockets

She continues her
Daily life
Sipping her cup of tea
Sending emails

She remembers
Helicopters and
Circles
Running for the
Road crossing a
Street of Life

She feeds the dogs
Enjoys the sunshine
Reads a paper or two

Life chasing after her
Queen of the world
Streets lined with
People, waving
Bridges of flight
Richard Branson Even!

She makes dinner
Of steak and potatoes
Has a drink of coffee
Settles down for the
Night

Remembering
Her life as a dream

Scream

When I see

An orange

I wish I

could paint

Rainbows

But all I can

Do is this.

I wish when I 

Talked

All you could

Do is listen

And be marvelled

By the rainbow

Draft Two

When I see
A grape
In the salad
I wish it were wine
But all I can do
Is eat

I wish you
Could see the dinner
Bypass the grape
And marvel
At the banquet


 

Caring

The little girl
Takes a seat
Next to the man
And cries

Here is the balloon
She says
And cries

The man looks at the balloon
It is white, crumpled, lack of string
But what he sees
Is not this

But the smile on
The little girls face

Because he cared.

Whirlwind

She steps tenderly
Towards the twig
And floats down
The river; holding on

The current moves in
A whirlwind
She screams; circular
"Help"

No one comes
She panics
Cries
And with abandon

Throws herself
Towards the water
Hoping
Praying

And just as
She realises what
Has happened
She calls out


And you just say - Stand up

Horror -- Me

It was two months
That I felt of it
Just two months
And I had to leave
For a break, peace -- freedom

Why did I not see it before
In the length of my life
Should I have doubted
The loss, horrid -- dreaming

The trap, the horror, torture
That she endured
So long ago now but a mystery
How did she, survive -- live

And now escaped from the misery
A skeleton, raked leaves, dead trees
I turn and remember
What did he do, horror -- me

Emily's Room

Let me walk in
And sit for a while
I know it will bother you
Can I offer a smile
Can I tell you here
Within these walls
Can I take away your nervousness
Can I talk away your falls
And there in your bun
And there in your dress
Can I tell you in the future
You will become impressed
Can I sit by your feet and
Widdle away the hours
Can I sit here and listen
As you write with your powers
And finally will you let me
Just understand your pain
Stay for a while
With nothing to gain
And then when I close the door
And leave your little room
Can you tell me your secret
Of encountering this doom
For you've impressed
This lady of two
With just your wisdom
And the soul within you.

Venom

She sits there
Surrounded by her spiders
Her adoring spiders
Lovely, she works amongst them
In the zoo
Petting them, being with them
Understanding them
Her thin rimmed glasses
Hiding her smiling eyes
As she sits there
And feeds her next spider
Flies, slowly one by one
With tweezers
She lovingly milks their venom
Slowly day by day
So that others will
Get the livesaving drops
And as she reaches down
She feels her leg
It is now plastic
Where they had to
Cut it off
To save her life
Because her pet spider
Nearly killed her
And she looks at you
With lovely caring eyes
Saying
Now I surround myself with spiders
So you don't have to endure