A blog exploring recovering from childhood sexual abuse
Take the journey with me.....
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Showing posts with label moving forward. Show all posts
Showing posts with label moving forward. Show all posts
Friday, January 25, 2013
The Queens in Town
The Queens in Town
Thanks to
Aurelia Isabella http://aurelia-isabella.deviantart.com/art/Medieval-10-STOCK-308317425
MMP Stock http://wdnest.deviantart.com/favourites/#/dmoeqm
Edina http://wdnest.deviantart.com/favourites/#/d4ypyl9
Labels:
Art,
change,
colour,
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heart,
lady,
Love,
moving forward,
picture,
recovery,
red,
sadness
Wednesday, December 05, 2012
How to change
The lady in purple
Walked up to the
Telephone booth
And stepped in
There was a line
Outside
Waiting, getting impatient
In the hot weather
She closed the door
Taking refuge inside
Watching the
Dried chewing gum
Cake up the slot
Where her money
Was to go
She noticed a penny
On the floor
She turned to leave
But stopped
As the telephone rang
She heard it
Calling her in the background
She was busy looking
At the floor and the money
People outside waiting
She leaned over
And chose the change
Leaving the phone call
To the next in line.
Labels:
Art,
change,
creativity,
healing,
moving forward,
poetry,
words,
write,
writing
Saturday, November 24, 2012
The Cross
I saw a note today
In the middle
Of the road
It was not a simple note
It was a cross
Like one you put
In your Aunty's birthday card
A faux I love you
But this was no
I love you
This was a cross to
Remind me
Of the terror
Of the forgotten things
And how love
Can go horribly wrong
This was where
I was abused
And they marked it
With a cross.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Prezi - But I am Your Voice by Whitedove
Labels:
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girl,
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presentation,
reading,
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Saturday, November 10, 2012
My childhood memories
My childhood memories
Silent bird calls
Creaking houses
Noises from corners
She sits
Writing
On her notepad
Whirring of the fridge
Noises, coughs, beeps
From out the back
She pauses to hear
A door closing
Footsteps
Down the hall
Walking forward
Pausing
Not scary
Hiding looking
For hiding spots
The fridge makes a noise
The birds stop
Birds flying outside
Sunlight drifts in
A deep breath
Difficult day
Eyes glinting
In the morning
Hidden she is
From his glare
He cannot see her
Under the bed
She sits there listening
Waiting
Waiting for the footsteps
To wander on down the hall
Waiting
Scared
Nothing
Surreal
Shadecloth
Shadows
Fireplace
Creaking of the walls
Silence
Humming of the fridge
Tv off
Light across the wire
It continues past the door
Into the kitchen
Where there is no noise
I wait
Wait scared surreal
Springs under the mattress
Gazing outside
Seeing no escape
Hoping for escape
Nothing there
No one there
But him
Dogs barking
In the distance
As I remember
Sitting here
My childhood memories
Silent bird calls
Creaking houses
Noises from corners
She sits
Writing
On her notepad
Whirring of the fridge
Noises, coughs, beeps
From out the back
She pauses to hear
A door closing
Footsteps
Down the hall
Walking forward
Pausing
Not scary
Hiding looking
For hiding spots
The fridge makes a noise
The birds stop
Birds flying outside
Sunlight drifts in
A deep breath
Difficult day
Eyes glinting
In the morning
Hidden she is
From his glare
He cannot see her
Under the bed
She sits there listening
Waiting
Waiting for the footsteps
To wander on down the hall
Waiting
Scared
Nothing
Surreal
Shadecloth
Shadows
Fireplace
Creaking of the walls
Silence
Humming of the fridge
Tv off
Light across the wire
It continues past the door
Into the kitchen
Where there is no noise
I wait
Wait scared surreal
Springs under the mattress
Gazing outside
Seeing no escape
Hoping for escape
Nothing there
No one there
But him
Dogs barking
In the distance
As I remember
Sitting here
My childhood memories
Labels:
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writing
Friday, November 02, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
The Girls Monster
A little girl
Walks up
And asks you -- yes you
Pulling on
Your shirt
There is a monster
Back there
She is frightened
She turns to you - yes you
And says
Can you help me
Face the monster
They don't believe me
That it exists
And I need
To see
And you turn - yes you
You turn and say.......
Walks up
And asks you -- yes you
Pulling on
Your shirt
There is a monster
Back there
She is frightened
She turns to you - yes you
And says
Can you help me
Face the monster
They don't believe me
That it exists
And I need
To see
And you turn - yes you
You turn and say.......
Monday, October 22, 2012
The Dream
She wakes up
And sees the
Dream she just had
Famous people
Helicopters
Space rockets
She continues her
Daily life
Sipping her cup of tea
Sending emails
She remembers
Helicopters and
Circles
Running for the
Road crossing a
Street of Life
She feeds the dogs
Enjoys the sunshine
Reads a paper or two
Life chasing after her
Queen of the world
Streets lined with
People, waving
Bridges of flight
Richard Branson Even!
She makes dinner
Of steak and potatoes
Has a drink of coffee
Settles down for the
Night
Remembering
Her life as a dream
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Incident
Eating his sandwich
In the squadroom
Afterwards
Must have been
Been beef or ham
McDonalds
It must have been
Worthwhile
The little girl
Cried at the window
Springs wide
Being fearful
Every night
Of her Father
Attacking her
Whenever the opportunity
Came about
Crying because
There was
Nothing she
Could do
In the squadroom
Afterwards
Must have been
Been beef or ham
McDonalds
It must have been
Worthwhile
The little girl
Cried at the window
Springs wide
Being fearful
Every night
Of her Father
Attacking her
Whenever the opportunity
Came about
Crying because
There was
Nothing she
Could do
Labels:
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girl,
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words,
write,
writing
Scream
When I see
An orange
I wish I
could paint
Rainbows
But all I can
Do is this.
I wish when I
Talked
All you could
Do is listen
And be marvelled
By the rainbow
Draft Two
When I see
A grape
In the salad
I wish it were wine
But all I can do
Is eat
I wish you
Could see the dinner
Bypass the grape
And marvel
At the banquet
Draft Two
When I see
A grape
In the salad
I wish it were wine
But all I can do
Is eat
I wish you
Could see the dinner
Bypass the grape
And marvel
At the banquet
Labels:
anger,
Art,
Care,
courage,
creativity,
fruit,
Garden,
girl,
healing,
heart,
Internal Love,
memories,
moving forward,
nature,
poetry,
trust,
words,
write,
writing
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Caring
The little girl
Takes a seat
Next to the man
And cries
Here is the balloon
She says
And cries
The man looks at the balloon
It is white, crumpled, lack of string
But what he sees
Is not this
But the smile on
The little girls face
Because he cared.
Labels:
Art,
Care,
Child,
courage,
creativity,
healing,
Internal Love,
kids,
man,
memories,
moving forward,
poetry
Saturday, September 22, 2012
To Write in the Sun
To Write in the Sun
The mouse runs
Darts this and that
To the darkness
Behind the tv
It smells the bait
The cheese there
It darts back
Eyeing it far away
It inches tiptoeing
Touch the wood
With the edge
Of its whiskers
SNAP
The metal bars
Come down
The other mice scream
Left alone
Others walk
See the mouse twitch
Ignore the calls
Cries
The pain it endures
No one
Misery from God
Taking its last breath
The bar rusted
Fails in spring
The mouse turns
And knaws at the wood
Other mice visit
The trap sprung
The animal wanders off
To write in the sun
The mouse runs
Darts this and that
To the darkness
Behind the tv
It smells the bait
The cheese there
It darts back
Eyeing it far away
It inches tiptoeing
Touch the wood
With the edge
Of its whiskers
SNAP
The metal bars
Come down
The other mice scream
Left alone
Others walk
See the mouse twitch
Ignore the calls
Cries
The pain it endures
No one
Misery from God
Taking its last breath
The bar rusted
Fails in spring
The mouse turns
And knaws at the wood
Other mice visit
The trap sprung
The animal wanders off
To write in the sun
Labels:
alone,
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Art,
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nature,
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season
I told
The sun flashed
Across the fern
It is the same sun
I saw with it there
Awake
Mixtures fly everywhere
A wisp of brightness
Fear, dwelling
A butterfly captured
Fear
Listening to others
It is lost
The walking stick falls
I am but elsewhere
Gone
Disappointed in the salt
There is no strength
To just say your mind
And I left in silence
Across the fern
It is the same sun
I saw with it there
Awake
Mixtures fly everywhere
A wisp of brightness
Fear, dwelling
A butterfly captured
Fear
Listening to others
It is lost
The walking stick falls
I am but elsewhere
Gone
Disappointed in the salt
There is no strength
To just say your mind
And I left in silence
Emily's Room
Let me walk in
And sit for a while
I know it will bother you
Can I offer a smile
Can I tell you here
Within these walls
Can I take away your nervousness
Can I talk away your falls
And there in your bun
And there in your dress
Can I tell you in the future
You will become impressed
Can I sit by your feet and
Widdle away the hours
Can I sit here and listen
As you write with your powers
And finally will you let me
Just understand your pain
Stay for a while
With nothing to gain
And then when I close the door
And leave your little room
Can you tell me your secret
Of encountering this doom
For you've impressed
This lady of two
With just your wisdom
And the soul within you.
And sit for a while
I know it will bother you
Can I offer a smile
Can I tell you here
Within these walls
Can I take away your nervousness
Can I talk away your falls
And there in your bun
And there in your dress
Can I tell you in the future
You will become impressed
Can I sit by your feet and
Widdle away the hours
Can I sit here and listen
As you write with your powers
And finally will you let me
Just understand your pain
Stay for a while
With nothing to gain
And then when I close the door
And leave your little room
Can you tell me your secret
Of encountering this doom
For you've impressed
This lady of two
With just your wisdom
And the soul within you.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Would I lose this poem?
The light is bright above me
And the mirror cast in black
Unsure of where I am
Unsure of what I lack
I have been transported
Back to that day of change
The instant before my life
Became so rearranged
And if I just change this scene
Just this moment before
All my what if's are gone
Never to be known any more
Would I walk through that door
And sit down as I eat
Would I continue along
This sure and steady beat
Or would I let it take me
And wake up those again
Would I dismiss the people
That I made here now as friends?
Would I forsake this poem
For that was learnt to
Would I forget how to cope
And learn to say no to you?
For this is what I have learnt
From walking through that door
In overcoming that nightmare
That will live for me anymore
And the mirror cast in black
Unsure of where I am
Unsure of what I lack
I have been transported
Back to that day of change
The instant before my life
Became so rearranged
And if I just change this scene
Just this moment before
All my what if's are gone
Never to be known any more
Would I walk through that door
And sit down as I eat
Would I continue along
This sure and steady beat
Or would I let it take me
And wake up those again
Would I dismiss the people
That I made here now as friends?
Would I forsake this poem
For that was learnt to
Would I forget how to cope
And learn to say no to you?
For this is what I have learnt
From walking through that door
In overcoming that nightmare
That will live for me anymore
Labels:
Art,
awareness,
creativity,
Friend,
loss,
lost,
moving forward,
poetry
Wednesday, September 05, 2012
Little Girl Remembers
The little girl lays there
Not saying a word
There is a quiet hush
She is becoming disturbed
Her mouth wants to scream
And her feet want to run
But she just stays there
Hating this fun
There is a man to the right
Standing up tall
Her mind there sitting
It is about to fall
And there in front of her
She sees a circle or two
And her mind just blank
And she has a deep breath anew
She is but young
Living in this monsters world
There to the right
The memory is becoming unfurled
And how does she cope
With this monsters awful stare
She just says "Forget it"
And the memory returns to its lair
Not saying a word
There is a quiet hush
She is becoming disturbed
Her mouth wants to scream
And her feet want to run
But she just stays there
Hating this fun
There is a man to the right
Standing up tall
Her mind there sitting
It is about to fall
And there in front of her
She sees a circle or two
And her mind just blank
And she has a deep breath anew
She is but young
Living in this monsters world
There to the right
The memory is becoming unfurled
And how does she cope
With this monsters awful stare
She just says "Forget it"
And the memory returns to its lair
Labels:
alone,
Art,
Child,
creativity,
girl,
healing,
kids,
memories,
moving forward,
past,
secret,
sexual abuse
Sunday, September 02, 2012
Seasons Change
Through the winter rain
The lone leaf stood strongly still
Until the spring time
When the flowers rose
The willows made friends with birds
And the sky lit up
To tell you in soft
Reaches that life is but change
Winds it's memory
The lone leaf stood strongly still
Until the spring time
When the flowers rose
The willows made friends with birds
And the sky lit up
To tell you in soft
Reaches that life is but change
Winds it's memory
Labels:
alone,
animals,
Art,
Bird,
creativity,
flowers,
moving forward,
nature,
past,
poetry,
season,
silence,
sun,
willow
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Willow Tree
There beside the Willow Tree
Where I am sitting with you beside me
I have an umbrella, you sit there straight
Legs out stretched, met by fate
And there it took my breath away
I still feel its heat, still feel it's sway
My mind awash, forgetting it so
That image there that no one knows
And still you sit, not understanding why
It makes me shake; yet to cry
I wish to tell you, but it will make it true
To just whisper the words, there to you
So at the moment I will remain so
Quietly drifting to and fro
In this willow tree, safe and strong
Knowing this is where I belong.
Labels:
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moving forward,
nature,
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poetry,
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tree,
willow
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Move on to
Theres a slight sound playing
That is right we were
And I was happy
Elated, full on with
Something
Like a build up
To something else
But then
I realised
That really
There was no one
In this world
That could help
Except me
There were comments
Many
When I started thinking
About it
Then I realised
How important I was
A tingle
Just how important
And it was
So simple in
The end
When before
I did not have this
So I had to let you go
So I could go forward
Into what I was thinking about
And that makes me
Cry.
Because what I had to move onto
Was me.
Labels:
Art,
courage,
creativity,
healing,
Internal Love,
loss,
Love,
moving forward,
past,
recovery,
tear
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