Monday, December 10, 2012

My Seven Year Diary

A poem cataloguing the journey that is Whitedoves Nest.

She stands in purple
Risk it all
Try your local library
For these books
Walked up to the
My childhood memories
Therapy
The right touch
"Free Shipping"
While no one was watching
There is a whisper in heaven
She was busy looking
At the floor and the money
Journals; blue clouds
I watch and talk to him
My Children
And as I whisper
About this site
A few things
We thank you for the many hours
Of support and talk
A small room
You walk in -- Inspired

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

How to change



The lady in purple
Walked up to the
Telephone booth
And stepped in
There was a line
Outside
Waiting, getting impatient
In the hot weather
She closed the door
Taking refuge inside
Watching the
Dried chewing gum
Cake up the slot
Where her money
Was to go
She noticed a penny
On the floor
She turned to leave
But stopped
As the telephone rang

She heard it
Calling her in the background
She was busy looking
At the floor and the money
People outside waiting

She leaned over
And chose the change

Leaving the phone call
To the next in line.

Saturday, December 01, 2012

Never a Smile


There in the distance
I see a tree
Here close up you
Remember the swing
I cry for I will never have
A father to be there
To see the delight
In my smile.



Monday, November 26, 2012

"Free shipping"

"Free shipping"
Said the package
I opened it up
And saw it
And started to cry
It was my
Heart in pieces
Sewn together
With package string

Safe Willow

 
Stock Thanks to -
 
ichigopaul23 [link]

tamaraR-stock [link]

Kechake Stock [link]
 
Special thanks to Kechake Stock for use of model in this picture and appreciation for allowing display rights on this blog for model.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Saturday, November 24, 2012

In Inverted Commas


He told me to leave it
And I took it out on him
"What nonsense was this"
I thought quietly
I told others
"That guy told me to leave it"
And it did not make sense
So I left
And then understood
Why
And now I thank him
For telling me to leave

The Cross


I saw a note today
In the middle
Of the road
It was not a simple note
It was a cross
Like one you put
In your Aunty's birthday card
A faux I love you
But this was no
I love you
This was a cross to
Remind me
Of the terror
Of the forgotten things
And how love
Can go horribly wrong
This was where
I was abused
And they marked it
With a cross.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Your love song

A little girl lays alone
Near the sidewalk
Dirt on her face
She smiles at the passerby's
There is no tears
There is no anger
Just a smile
She turns on the radio beside her
Her only possession
And realises
It is playing her song
And she turns it up
And revels in -- her love.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Blood Rain


Blood Rain Stock provided by
Cynaide Rain Stock [link]
Rock Stock [link]

My childhood memories

My childhood memories

Silent bird calls
Creaking houses
Noises from corners
She sits
Writing
On her notepad
Whirring of the fridge
Noises, coughs, beeps
From out the back
    She pauses to hear
    A door closing
    Footsteps
    Down the hall
    Walking forward
    Pausing
    Not scary
    Hiding looking
    For hiding spots
The fridge makes a noise
The birds stop
Birds flying outside
Sunlight drifts in
A deep breath
Difficult day
Eyes glinting
In the morning
    Hidden she is
    From his glare
    He cannot see her
    Under the bed
    She sits there listening
    Waiting
    Waiting for the footsteps
    To wander on down the hall
    Waiting
    Scared
    Nothing
    Surreal
Shadecloth
Shadows
Fireplace
Creaking of the walls
Silence
Humming of the fridge
Tv off
Light across the wire
    It continues past the door
    Into the kitchen
    Where there is no noise
    I wait
    Wait scared surreal
    Springs under the mattress
    Gazing outside
    Seeing no escape
    Hoping for escape
    Nothing there
    No one there
    But him
Dogs barking
In the distance
As I remember
Sitting here
My childhood memories

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

John Cage 4'33

Thinking outside the box.

Cannot remember


You sat there
Seeing it happen
Before your eyes
In your mind

Amazement at the
Loss of memory
Where I was
Upset at the place

You saw it in your mind
A locked closet
You turn to
Face the mystery

And by the orchard
You explain
Why you
Cannot remember

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The bravest girl I know

For anonymous

You sat there listening
To a fifteen year old
Tell you tragic news
Of her father in jail


Because she put him there
And her family blamed her
And ostracised her
And her mother had taken to drugs


"She could no longer take it"
His constant raping of her
"She could no longer take it"
And now, she lived alone in hate

Monday, October 29, 2012

Start

A beautiful start

To building a sandcastle

Is a smile on

A little girls face

Saturday, October 27, 2012

A Vase : For when they tell you

A vase : For when they tell you


A vase sits on the
     Bench

It has pretty flowers
     Stencilled on it

Lovely   motifs and
     Wonderful look

Slim,     and slender
      It stands there

     And    then
Someone walks pass

And    screams
                     "You're Broken"

And     the
     Next

And the           next

And the vase sits
There
Smiling
Holding water
For it is whole.           

The End of a Smile

"Her home is the well
She is lost in the city
Of rain and water
I have dirt across my face
Staring into the night sky
And she blows
Dandeloin seeds
To the wind
As you smile"

Friday, October 26, 2012

The Girls Monster

A little girl
Walks up
And asks you -- yes you

Pulling on
Your shirt
There is a monster
Back there
She is frightened

She turns to you - yes you
And says
Can you help me

Face the monster
They don't believe me
That it exists
And I need
To see

And you turn - yes you
You turn and say.......

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Twenty

It's Two Twenty AM

Sound asleep in

The house -- her house

No one awake

The odd motorbike

On the far off highway

The typing on the computer

As she writes a poem

To all those sleepless nights

And dreary mornings

Where she could not

Endure the day

Two Twenty AM -- is home.

Monday, October 22, 2012

The Dream


She wakes up
And sees the
Dream she just had
Famous people
Helicopters
Space rockets

She continues her
Daily life
Sipping her cup of tea
Sending emails

She remembers
Helicopters and
Circles
Running for the
Road crossing a
Street of Life

She feeds the dogs
Enjoys the sunshine
Reads a paper or two

Life chasing after her
Queen of the world
Streets lined with
People, waving
Bridges of flight
Richard Branson Even!

She makes dinner
Of steak and potatoes
Has a drink of coffee
Settles down for the
Night

Remembering
Her life as a dream

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Incident

Eating his sandwich
In the squadroom
Afterwards
Must have been
Been beef or ham
McDonalds
It must have been

Worthwhile

The little girl
Cried at the window
Springs wide
Being fearful
Every night
Of her Father
Attacking her
Whenever the opportunity
Came about
Crying because
There was
Nothing she
Could do

Scream


When I see
An orange
I wish I
could paint
Rainbows
But all I can
Do is this.

I wish when I 
Talked
All you could
Do is listen
And be marvelled
By the rainbow

Draft Two

When I see
A grape
In the salad
I wish it were wine
But all I can do
Is eat

I wish you
Could see the dinner
Bypass the grape
And marvel
At the banquet


 






Deck of Hearts







MMp-stock [link] and [link]
CelticStrm-stock [link]
Luciaraio [link]
Setsuna222 [link]
PPBB [link]
Kaitrosebd-Stock [link]

Friday, October 19, 2012

I can't write

Why the heck
Can I not write this
It's so stupid
To not be able
To say anything
To completely keep
Hitting backspace
And to be annoyed
At this
Not being able to write
Or being able to say
Much

Why must I check my work
Re read, re-edit
Go back
Then not flow
Like I used to

Why Why Why

And then you realise...................

She Draws A Smile

She held it up to her Spirit
A tear flows down her cheek
A marker in her hand
Her eyes bright, and clouded

Black ink
Across her face
Her hair pink
All out of place

Her eyebrows furrowed
A lisp of hair
She takes her marker
Draws with care

Her hand slender
Her grasp soft
Now she holds
Destiny in her hand.



Joint poem - Whitedove and Cococ.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Caring



The little girl
Takes a seat
Next to the man
And cries

Here is the balloon
She says
And cries

The man looks at the balloon
It is white, crumpled, lack of string
But what he sees
Is not this

But the smile on
The little girls face

Because he cared.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Monday

In the middle
Of the branches
Deep within the
Tree
A perfect triangle
Is formed
Trust me
It won't fall
As we climb higher
In the tree
Reaching out from
The main trunk
I stretch
To find branches
Slowly
I catch in my hand

I turn to look back
At you
And you disappear

To the sounds
Of an axe falling

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Meeting You


She glides through
The party
Smiling with
Her bag
Laughing and travelling
Speaking with ease
She turns around
And you see
Someone who is me

Monday, October 08, 2012

The Orchard

I wandered through
The attic
Dusting off
The trunk
Of black regret
I gingerly
Unlock it
 
Inside
I pick it up
My memory
Of what 
Was done
 
Blowing off the
Cobwebs
I start to cry
Blurry vision
The emotions rising
I open it up
And see it there
 
Press play
And watch
What was done
Where 
How
The scare
The nightmare
 
I continue on
My breath getting shallow
The memories 
Of times since then
 
The absolute horror
Of what happened
Me screaming
"Why would I do that"
Seeing me 
visit again
and again
To that point
Not knowing
 
Looking there
Screaming again
Shaking my head
How could he do this
Coming home and 
Forgetting the milk
 
My mind in oblivion
All over
 
A simple
Orchard
 
I sit there
And close the lid
To the trunk
As the little girl
I once used to be
Comforts Me 
Saying I love you.

Thursday, October 04, 2012

As this

I just
Sat there
And stared
At him for
Two weeks
Before I thought



Oh No



What had
Happened in
The space
Of that time
Was as surreal

As this.

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Whirlwind




She steps tenderly
Towards the twig
And floats down
The river; holding on

The current moves in
A whirlwind
She screams; circular
"Help"

No one comes
She panics
Cries
And with abandon

Throws herself
Towards the water
Hoping
Praying

And just as
She realises what
Has happened
She calls out


And you just say - Stand up

Playing with Love

 
 

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Supermarket

He wanders through the market
Shirt untucked
Red basket, choosing
Fruit and vegetables
Does he know I watch
Him and slowly write
A poem in my mind
Catching this precise
Moment
Where he looks at me
And then turns away
The memory forgotten
In the depths of his life

Saturday, September 22, 2012

To Write in the Sun

To Write in the Sun

The mouse runs
Darts this and that
To the darkness
Behind the tv

It smells the bait
The cheese there
It darts back
Eyeing it far away

                It inches tiptoeing
                Touch the wood
               With the edge
               Of its whiskers
 
               SNAP

               The metal bars
               Come down
               The other mice scream
               Left alone

Others walk
See the mouse twitch
Ignore the calls
Cries

The pain it endures
No one
Misery from God
Taking its last breath

          The bar rusted
          Fails in spring
          The mouse turns
          And knaws at the wood

                                 Other mice visit
                                 The trap sprung
                                 The animal wanders off
                                 To write in the sun

I told

The sun flashed
Across the fern
It is the same sun
I saw with it there

     Awake

Mixtures fly everywhere
A wisp of brightness
Fear, dwelling
A butterfly captured

     Fear

Listening to others
It is lost
The walking stick falls
I am but elsewhere

    Gone

Disappointed in the salt
There is no strength
To just say your mind
And I left in silence

Horror -- Me

It was two months
That I felt of it
Just two months
And I had to leave
For a break, peace -- freedom

Why did I not see it before
In the length of my life
Should I have doubted
The loss, horrid -- dreaming

The trap, the horror, torture
That she endured
So long ago now but a mystery
How did she, survive -- live

And now escaped from the misery
A skeleton, raked leaves, dead trees
I turn and remember
What did he do, horror -- me

Emily's Room

Let me walk in
And sit for a while
I know it will bother you
Can I offer a smile
Can I tell you here
Within these walls
Can I take away your nervousness
Can I talk away your falls
And there in your bun
And there in your dress
Can I tell you in the future
You will become impressed
Can I sit by your feet and
Widdle away the hours
Can I sit here and listen
As you write with your powers
And finally will you let me
Just understand your pain
Stay for a while
With nothing to gain
And then when I close the door
And leave your little room
Can you tell me your secret
Of encountering this doom
For you've impressed
This lady of two
With just your wisdom
And the soul within you.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

In desperation there is love



In desperation there is love

Stock thanks to
Portraitz [link]
Book-of-Light Stock [link]
Adaae-Stock [link]
Chamber Stock [link]
Glamorous Acid Stock [link]
JoannaStar stock [link]
Markopolio Stock [link]

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Would I lose this poem?

The light is bright above me
And the mirror cast in black
Unsure of where I am
Unsure of what I lack

I have been transported
Back to that day of change
The instant before my life
Became so rearranged

And if I just change this scene
Just this moment before
All my what if's are gone
Never to be known any more

Would I walk through that door
And sit down as I eat
Would I continue along
This sure and steady beat

Or would I let it take me
And wake up those again
Would I dismiss the people
That I made here now as friends?

Would I forsake this poem
For that was learnt to
Would I forget how to cope
And learn to say no to you?

For this is what I have learnt
From walking through that door
In overcoming that nightmare
That will live for me anymore

Monday, September 10, 2012

Quiet of the Room


From the quiet of the room
She writes
A little girl in pigtales
With all her might
She is scribbling in her diary
All her dreams
She is missing out all her screams
She is protecting those with
No words
And hiding under the covers
Quite disturbed
And quietly with her pen
She writes
Its all there, as she fights
Some extra horror that she
Knows
Her tears have come to blows
She has written for hours
And no one knows
Just horror stories
That no one sees
Her tear drops as you please
But when she goes to
Hand it on
All she says is
Who cares anyway
No one will respond

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Little Girl Remembers

The little girl lays there
Not saying a word
There is a quiet hush
She is becoming disturbed
Her mouth wants to scream
And her feet want to run
But she just stays there
Hating this fun
There is a man to the right
Standing up tall
Her mind there sitting
It is about to fall
And there in front of her
She sees a circle or two
And her mind just blank
And she has a deep breath anew
She is but young
Living in this monsters world
There to the right
The memory is becoming unfurled
And how does she cope
With this monsters awful stare
She just says "Forget it"
And the memory returns to its lair


Sunday, September 02, 2012

Seasons Change

Through the winter rain
The lone leaf stood strongly still
Until the spring time

When the flowers rose
The willows made friends with birds
And the sky lit up

To tell you in soft
Reaches that life is but change
Winds it's memory

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Willow Tree


There beside the Willow Tree
Where I am sitting with you beside me
I have an umbrella, you sit there straight
Legs out stretched, met by fate

And there it took my breath away
I still feel its heat, still feel it's sway
My mind awash, forgetting it so
That image there that no one knows

And still you sit, not understanding why
It makes me shake; yet to cry
I wish to tell you, but it will make it true
To just whisper the words, there to you

So at the moment I will remain so
Quietly drifting to and fro
In this willow tree, safe and strong
Knowing this is where I belong.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

It's All Roses



Thanks for those who provided Stock for "It's All Roses"

FoxStox [link]
Fallin Stock [link]
Saikochan Stock [link]
Kuschelirmel-stock [link]
domitar [link]
Enchantedgal Stock [link]
Two Ladies Stocks [link]
KopaBill-Stock [link]
ItHasTeeth [link]

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Just for a Moment


The sea salt raises on the beach
In bubbles
A surprise on the horizon
To the castaway, who surviving
On nothing, sees
An image of the boat
Signalling like crazy
As the boat comes to shore
Their footsteps linger in the
Soft wet sand
We are here to help you
And as you reach out
After years of pain
As a castaway
You realise
That your hand goes through
The mirage
And crying you weep

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

He did not make it

A slight rain
Came over the bus stop
As the little boy
With the balloon
Stands with you
He feels disjointed
You speak to him
Knowing his pain
The bus stop is clear
The road busy
And you stand for
Just a moment
Telling him
About your days
And you turn away
Realising the bus
Has arrived
And you talk
Slowly into your iphone
Not realising
The boy did not get on
And all you hear from
The distance
Is, "I'm sorry"
And the balloon flying upwards



This poem is dedicated to a 19 year old survivor, whom chose a different path to me in life.

May he rest in peace.

Dany 1993 to August 2012

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Happy Birthday to Whitedovesnest.com


Happy Birthday to Whitedovesnest.com.

We put up this website 7 years ago this month. The response to this website was beyond my expectations. I have received many many contributions, emails, thoughts, best wishes and more importantly, this site, that you have visited today, has helped me personally in ways I could never imagine possible when created 7 years ago.

I wish to thank all of those who have been brave enough to submit articles, poetry, art work, Youtubes, songs, resources and writings. I also wish to thank those who have taken the time and courage to contribute their personal abuse and rape stories amongst my own.

May you find some peace and inspiration in these writings here.

Happy Birthday Whitedovesnest!!!!

www.whitedovesnest.com

Thursday, August 16, 2012

The Note


It caught your eye
That little girl
Holding the note
That felt so unreal

It came across you
As you wandered past
Scurrying quickly
Way too fast

She stands in purple
Her hair tied in bows
A tear there welling
While no one knows

And she just sits there
Listening to what you say
Remembering back
Remembering yesterday

She could say something
Risk it all
Prepare herself for the
Sudden fall

Toss all those images
From her soul beware
And just trust
That others will care

But as you lean closer
To what she says
What has been giving her
Sleepless days

What horror she holds
She cannot say
The images live within her
Night and day

She sits there
Scribbles something down
Her tears there welling
Her forehead in a frown

And there she holds it
She makes it mine
She holds up a note
Simply reading "I'm fine"

Thursday, August 09, 2012

Some Nights



You're Beautiful


That smile
That makes your eyes light up
How you skip down the road
Doing twirlies in the night

Simple pleasures
Dancing to songs
And screaming out loud
With a laugh that makes
People turn their heads

Blowing petals to the wind
Clapping out loud
Screaming at the top of your lungs
Looking in the mirror
Yet again
Pretending you're a princess

Wondering at fireworks
Dancing in the street
Playing skipping ropes
Bouncing with your legs
In anticipation of this day

I'm so lucky
You're beautiful.


Poem to the song What makes You Beautiful by One Direction.

Saturday, August 04, 2012

Venom

She sits there
Surrounded by her spiders
Her adoring spiders
Lovely, she works amongst them
In the zoo
Petting them, being with them
Understanding them
Her thin rimmed glasses
Hiding her smiling eyes
As she sits there
And feeds her next spider
Flies, slowly one by one
With tweezers
She lovingly milks their venom
Slowly day by day
So that others will
Get the livesaving drops
And as she reaches down
She feels her leg
It is now plastic
Where they had to
Cut it off
To save her life
Because her pet spider
Nearly killed her
And she looks at you
With lovely caring eyes
Saying
Now I surround myself with spiders
So you don't have to endure

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

You're the Voice


Lucky enough to see this many times live.

Soul to the Moonlight

   


Can you see it
Dwelling within my soul
That silent memory
Hurting me internally
And as I see it
There trembling in its mystery
I walk slowly
And touch it, it burns me
With a deep intensity that I run
That I cry, and do not return
And chose to forget its mystery

And I sit down, with the flowerpots behind me
And stir my teacup in the shadowed sunlight
Many years later
And notice my hand shaking
It is the memory
Resurfacing, just as I stir my tea
And I forget

And then as I plant the flower
The following spring
In the pots, the hot sun
Causing beads of sweat on my forehead
I notice my breath is gone
Not because of the weather
But the silent memory


And as I watch the tv, I realise
The memory does not go
The memory will return
And the only way to resolve it
Is to show its
Soul to the moonlight.

Don't run from it, turn and face it.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Move on to


Theres a slight sound playing

That is right we were

And I was happy

Elated, full on with

Something

Like a build up

To something else

But then

I realised

That really

There was no one

In this world

That could help

Except me

There were comments

Many

When I started thinking

About it

Then I realised

How important I was

A tingle

Just how important

And it was

So simple in

The end

When before

I did not have this

So I had to let you go

So I could go forward

Into what I was thinking about

And that makes me

Cry.

Because what I had to move onto

Was me.

In my mind

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Clear Wide

Red faces that are sliding

Eyes that behold

Ring of dolly behind the door

Straight lines that are told

Blood drops on the floor

With red and blue behind

A white face appears again

Blue lines hit the side

My hands there now touch you

As I see a part of me

A title there does show

What is sitting in front of me

And every day I see this,

Yet it all escapes my thoughts

It is just a simple click of my fingers

That shows me what I ought

So as I take a slow breath

And recount what has given me pause

Im glad Im sitting on this side

And not taken all the applause

So next time you think

That heaven has rocked the earth

Take a slight step back

And really, give it a clear wide berth

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Spearmint Lolly Man


The girl, sitting there near the shop

Spies at the bottom of the lolly packet

A small spearmint lolly

WOW - I have forgotten the spearmint ones

And she takes it and eats it quickly

With a smile on her face

The next girls spies the lolly in the packets

And shies away

Her heart racing

She starts to cry

She turns and runs away

Hiding, remembering

Slowly dying inside

For the lolly

Reminded her

Of Him

Sunday, July 15, 2012

You love you

     
Its the monsters breath
Getting slight
He is trying to get at you
With all his might
He is trying to scare you now
As he did before
And here you are trying to calm and more
You thought this would be easy
Not as hard as this
You have been given ideas
To return to bliss
You dont want to lay vunerable
To the monsters teeth
And really you know
Whats lying beneath
But what if he's not, that monster in disguse
What if he is just a nice kind man
Who wants to help as he tries
It is your filter, the monsters put on
Effecting you now every year on
The panic you feel, is the filters glare
Reminding you of the times back there
All I know now, is you can escape
You can keep yourself safe
Not put up with his hate
You have the power, deep within
That little girl loves you
Your protecting her from sin
So here is a flower
She gives you for now
She lets you cry, she lets you howl
She lets you shake, she lets you ball
She lets you walk, she lets you crawl
You have held her hand, through the worse terror yet
Something 99 percent of people would rather forget
You can protect her, you can get through
The courage is right there
Because You love You.

On the edge

Saturday, July 07, 2012

Wind on my heart


Wind on my Heart



Wind on My Heart

Two little girls
Step one by one along the path
Followed closely behind
By their mum.
The blonde girls turn to their mum
And see in the sky a quiet wind
Pointing, they notice
Layers of lovehearts
Multicoloured
Drifting in the breeze
Held by string
And the mum does not see it
She is watching the monsters behind
Keeping their nasty
Fire, their brimstone at bay
The footpath full of grass
"The hearts are so pretty" says the little girls
Laughing and giggling
The monster from the back
Breathing words of fire
Attacking, wanting the little girls
The mother puts her arms out
Lets balance girls
On the footpath
And the little girls enjoy the sunshine
Playing games in the spectacle
Looking forward, to the brightly coloured
Fireworks
And all they feel from the
Monster
Is the Wind on My Heart



Protect your children. Let them paint and draw love hearts, rather than be abused by who abused you. Stand in between the abuser and never let them past.

Sunday, July 01, 2012

Faith of the Heart





It's been a long road
Getting from there to here
It's been a long time
But my time is finally near

And I can feel the change in the wind right now
Nothing's in my way
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna hold me down

'Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith, I’ve got faith, faith of the heart

It's been a long night
Trying to find my way
Been through the darkness
Now I've finally have my day

And I will see my dream come alive at last
I will touch the sky
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna change my mind

'Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith, faith of the heart

I've known the wind so cold, and seen the darkest days.
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change.
I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain.
But I'll be fine.

Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith

I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I've got faith, I've got faith, faith of the heart.

It's been a long road. 


Reveal


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

She has a Fringe with a curl

The man stood in the corner, I was so scared

He handed out tickets, To the public beware

I saw just saw a glimpse, Not knowing him there

Surrounded by statues, Without such a care


And there he served little kids, And there he saw me

Sitting in the corner, As quiet as can be

I did not know who he was, But all I knew was his might

I began to feel those feelings, I had been hiding within my light


He gave his little speech, they cheered him such a store

He stood behind the counter, Watching you forever more

A little girl of five, You wander quietly

And take his little ticket, As quickly as can be


And the little girl, begins to fuss and beam

Constantly calling out, to her mummy in her screams

She picks up the knife, All covered in blood

The man falls to the ground, Red becomes the flood


And she just stands there, Her mummy comforts her so

Her shame now lost, Forever in a glow

And when the police question her, Security beware

The girl sits staring, at the teddy bear with care


And all she keeps repeating, Is just what he did

How he humilated her, The sin he hid

What he made her do, for that little ticket there

The torture that he gave, without such a care


And as the crowds dissapate, and wander back to home

The news stories told, repeated in chrome

And the police leave her be, For she is just a little girl

She jumps over skipping rope, she has a fringe with a curl

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Believe

Arrow in Her Back

Slowly standing, the lady in red

The forest in the foreground

The Tree back in stead

Its noisy She Says

As she whispers to you

Silently in a message

Here, I will support you

And you wonder who she is

And you wonder if she cares

Because darn wizz, you need someone there

She offers you a number

Sitting there hoping you call

For Her in her red dress

The arrow is about to fall

So the red dressed lady

Just sit here and waits

Capturing the moment

Before Love and Hate

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Ritual Abuse Conference CT

http://ritualabuse.us/smart-conference/



The 15th Annual Ritual Abuse, Secretive Organizations and Mind Control Conference

August 10 – 12, 2012

DoubleTree near
Bradley International Airport
16 Ella Grasso Turnpike
Windsor Locks, CT

Internet conference information:
http://ritualabuse.us/smart-conference/

2011 Ritual Abuse Conference CDs are now available http://ritualabuse.us/smart-conference/2011-conference/

Conference Goals
- To help stop future occurrences of ritual abuse
- To help survivors of ritual abuse
- To name the groups that have participated in alleged illegal activities
- To unite those working to stop ritual abuse

Conference Schedule
There will be a small get together, deli dinner, dessert and early registration for pre-registered attendees only, on August 10, Friday evening. The conference will be all day on Saturday August 11 and Sunday August 12. Please check our conference home page for the latest conference schedule information. Some presentations will also be recorded.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Such



He was just a bad writer, not knowing what to do

We had a chat, a talk about writing too

And thats where I left him, I could not beware

For it reminded me of the past, that awful stuck lair


And I waited for a while, uncomfortably long

I thought he challenged me with another, feeling so strong

I got a bad impression, was he just like those guys

Would this happen again, I said, ever so wise


And I was told people would help, but I gave up there

For if you grew up with it, they don't really care

Would you wait and wonder, just what will happen next

Will they force you again, force you to have sex


The debate such continues, alone in your head

That old mode of thinking, sometimes you would rather be dead

For its what my dad did, many years ago

Reliving itself in this chatting, ever so slow


I get trapped, I run, I get trapped again, cannot escape

I remember back when I scream, I get upset, I repeat the words; that hate

A little girl crying out just waiting to be heard

Unsure what to do, feeling unheard


For the past replays itself, in your head

Just as you learnt to tie your shoelaces

Or eat crust on your bread

You learn how to relate, with your mum and dad

And there it repeats again and again making you sad


Not sure what to do, not sure what is said

I suppose you just have to trust that thought in your head

And here I am wishing again to forget the past

So AGAIN, I wont have to face this, as it sits and lasts


I can't give you the answers, I have not figured it yet

For I was treated with misery with utter regret

But once I break free, I will understand it then

I know I will get over it, with the help of such friends.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

All in This Together


I was fortunate enough to be involved with many others in creating the following song:

Enjoy.

All in This Together.

http://soundcloud.com/catch-music-and-wam/catch-music-and-wam-all-in

In group sessions, we created a positive message about mental health. Music includes harmonica, guitar, bass, snare drums and slide guitar. Much fun had by all in creating this music.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Concrete

Blue clouds

Writing in the sky

A small room

You walk in

Happy

The door is closed

You really don’t know what

Is really the fuss

You see his face

Its bad news

He asks you to sit

Your mind screams

He has something in his hands

This can’t be good

What you have gone through

Is telling you how bad it is

And you cry

You get up

And run

And run

And run

How can your own

Body betray you

Why does it have to happen

To me

And I collapse to the

Concrete

And Cry

Knowing

There is no escape

No escape

Just no escape

And you pick yourself

Up and continue

With the screaming in your head

The constant screaming

It becomes silence it is so loud

You pause

You cry more

You pause

And the screaming comes back

They give you a million things

To do

But the screaming is there….

For

You know

There is no cure

Fast Asleep


The song beats

Drum kit comes in

Some words

A chorus

About

Unknown things

Drifting you back

In time

A knot in your stomach

As the music

Beats

Of how the artist

Tries

Some words

Unknown

But the chorus

Sings out

At you

That switch

That collects you

The beat that

Seems to call out your name

You turn it up

High

Because it says

Exactly how you feel

Their struggle becomes

Yours

And the drift of the music

The quietness

Says exactly

What you wish you

Could

They capture it

Just for you

To listen, in the car

The house

Your mind

That jingle

Until

In a moment to song stops

And you go forward

Knowing that song

Will always be there

I'm Wide Awake

Dim Light Fading


In a line

They choose you

And you feel so wonderful

Alone in your glory

Staring up at the stars

In the sky – thank you God

You say

But then as the line gets shorter

You sit there

And realise

That no one is left

And there is only you waiting

For a blackened tree

And the dim light fading

Sunday, May 20, 2012

The Girl and her Ice cube


The little girl
Near the sun
With its rays
Striking out
Holds in her hand
An icecube
And looks at it
Thinking
It will melt the sun
And you sit there
And look at the little girl
In all her futility
Hope against hope
That that little icecube
Will actually make a difference
To the suns shining rays
Laughing at her
I mean hysterical laughter at her
"Its crazy" you say to her
That won't work at all
It will fry before it even gets there
The sun is so hot, it will just
Turn to steam
"Don't throw it" "You can't really think that will work"
"No way in the world will that work"
And another hysterical laugh bellows from your mouth
Alone the little girl stands in her belief, the taunts she takes
And so reaching back
She throws it
And it lands near your feet
And seeing it you realise
What the little girl is saying

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Surviving – the After Effects of Sexual Abuse


Online exhibition and presentation.

“Surviving – the After Effects of Sexual Abuse”, at http://renewthruimagination.wordpress.com , is a permanent online art exhibition on surviving and healing from sexual abuse and sexual assault.  The presentation identifies the emotional, psychological, and behaviour difficulties of survivors; and consists of forty mixed media Mandela-shaped images, which is divided into six stages: Minimize, Silence, Respond, Destruct, Relate, and Heal.

The art show aims to: encourage a greater number of persons to embark on a healing process; compliment survivors’ therapeutic process; support facilities which provide services for survivors of abuse and assault; and contribute to an open dialogue to help solve the problems surrounding it.

Thank you for your interest in the exhibition; I hope you find the project beneficial to your own, your family, and your partner’s healing process.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Lost Red Clouds


A little boy stands solidly against the white wall

Telling you, what is wrong

Making mistakes, you remind him

Of what is correct

His leg moves about

He forgets things

Does he know what is coming

Does he know the pain you just went through

Does he understand the anguish

In getting to where he was?

He did not know

Is he blaming me?





A little girl sits on the bed

Going through the same stuff as always

And after all the reading

And all the people

He sits there and dumbfounded

Does not know

He had just done something

Standing there

Watching the tears

For there

Is no answers, no understanding

Just lost red clouds in the sky

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Alexias Morris

Poem Instruction:
Alexias Morris - You're worst person in the world.
Said like you dread.
Alexiaaaaaaas Morrrrrrris (thump your hand - Its Alexias Morris you are writing about)

Alexias Morris Poem

She was but a fragment of mind
Helped me get out of a bind
It was not really what she said
By how I took there and hid
She was
Alexias Morris Yes, Alexias Morris

Played a scrabble moonlight
Ever feeling so tight
Her voice was so high pitched
She was but a miss
She was
Alexias Morris

You wanted to watch
However it seemed to be squashed
Wanting to count
But forever she mounts
She was
Alexias Morris

You had such a test
It seemed like a mess
You wondered what's best
She was like the rest
She was
Alexias Morris

And when you were so upset
She gave not a rest
She was just not there
She would not but care
She was
Alexias Morris

You wondered if you
Were feeling so blue
Were you turned back the front
Not caring; it was just her stunt
She was
Alexias Morris

And out of a dream
Came this poem so mean
You wish you could count
1234 It was but a doubt
She was
Alexias Morris

I know I've been mean
Making her scream
Turning her inside and out
Making her shout
She was
Alexias Morris

So when you see her devine
She keeps on your mind
Back the front to your own
Just remember this poem
You've met
Alexias Morris

And she might be your clone.

Alexias Morris
Alexias Morris

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Twitter

@whitedovesnest
Join me at Twitter at @whitedovesnest. Tweeting about childhood sexual abuse, links, information and resources.

View links and tweets of interest now. Follow me if you have an account.








Sunday, April 29, 2012

She is but...



 She can sense it coming

That doom spreading in her body

She is but 12, the age of change

She can see the comet

Coming towards her

Dashing through the sky

In 20 years

She sees it daily

She reports it

To her local authority

‘She is but 12”

They say

And on that day

They are condemning

The human race.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Art Show


While No One Was Watching Survivors of child sexual abuse in art exhibit on this silent epidemic A national tragedy and a health epidemic of shocking proportions are going unnoticed by the media and unaddressed by Americans and our institutions. One in six boys and one in four girls will be sexually abused before age eighteen. “500,000 babies born in the U.S. this year will be sexually abused before 18 if we do not prevent it.” -Darkness to Light organization Sexually-abused girls grow up three times more likely to become drug addicts. Children who’ve been abused generally have higher rates of teen pregnancy, sexually-transmitted disease, depression, hostility, and difficulty forging close relationships. Unbeknownst to most Americans, April is both National Child Abuse Prevention Month, and National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month. To bring attention to those observances, the International Agency for Minority Artists Affairs presents, “While No One Was Watching,” a group art exhibit to give voice to the silent epidemic of child sexual abuse.


More info at http://iamaagroupartshow-cbchapelle.blogspot.com.au/

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Ice creams are only for Angels

Wandering, through the shopping center
She picks a little flower from the
Garden floor
She wanders up to the stall owner
Near his clown trailer, to play
"Win a prize, Win a prize" he says
"Win a prize, win a prize" he says

And you watch, from a distance
In a dream, not really paying much attention
Studying the flower in her hand
You turn your back, if for an instant
And you notice the clown, once
Content, now his face is a tear

Watching the little girl
You have seen her drop the flower
Play with the bottom of her skirt
Twirl and dance away
Lost in her vision,
As she plays and plays

Watching the clowns as they spin
Back and forth, their face stuck
In an internal rhythm
Back and forth
Back and forth

And as you watch her
Twirl, Where are her friends?
She is alone
And in a blink of an eye, your downward gaze
She is gone; the clown sad and lost

And there she is
Screaming, blonde, crying
Tears streaming down her face
Her mother
Crying.

"Where is my daughter"
"where is my daughter"

The clown disappeared, and all you can describe
Is the face, and his tear
And the van
But the precise moment, your
Downward gaze, moved
You were a stranger, watching a girl, dance

And you wander away
Not knowing what to do
For really you can only describe
The simple scene
And remember this
As, Icecreams are only for Angels

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Skateboarding the Nullarbor

Friday, April 06, 2012

New look!

Wow, Whitedoves Blog has a new look. Hope you enjoy your visit here. Please feel free to read the comments from readers of the blog and enjoy your time here.

Our main website is at www.whitedovesnest.com.

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